_If humanity is to progress, Gandhi is inescapable. He lived, thought,
acted and inspired by the vision of humanity evolving toward a world
of peace and harmony._ - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Peace is not just for hippies. Living in peace is about living
harmoniously with yourself, others, and all sentient beings around
you. Living in peace is both an outward and an inward process.
Outwardly, living in peace is a way of life in which we respect and
love each other in spite of our cultural, religious, and political
differences. Inwardly, we all need to search our hearts and minds
and understand the fear that causes the impulse to violence, for in
continuing to ignore the rage within, the storm outside will never
subside.
While you will find your own meanings of peaceful existence and
outward manifestations of a peaceful life according to your beliefs
and lifestyle, there are some basics underpinning living in peace that
cannot be overlooked, such as being non-violent, being tolerant,
holding moderate views, and celebrating wondrous-life. This article
provides some suggestions to help you to discover your journey to
living in peace, a journey and way of life that ultimately only you
can be responsible for.
!! Steps !!
Seek to love, not control others. Ceasing to seek power over people
and outcomes in your life is the first major step to living
peacefully. Trying to control people is about seeking to impose your
will and reality on others without ever trying to see their side of
things. A controlling approach to relationships will keep you in
conflict with others. Replacing a will to control with a broad
approach of loving others instead, including their faults and
differences, is the way to a peaceful life.
* Think peace before power. Gandhi said that power based on love is
a thousand times more effective and permanent than the power
gained through threat of punishment. If you've learned to
"control" other people through threatening behavior, demeanor, or
actions, those persons subjected to your power will be responding
out of coercion, not out of respect or care for you. This is not a
peaceful way to live.
* Learn the skills of negotiation, conflict resolution, and
assertive communication. These are important, constructive
communication skills that help you to avoid or effectively move
through conflict with others. Not all conflict can be avoided, and
not all conflict is bad provided you know how to handle it
skilfully. If you don't feel that you have enough skills in these
forms of communication, read widely on ways to improve them. The
clarity of the message is always vital to ensure peace, as much
conflict arises out of misunderstandings.
* When communicating with others, seek to avoid ordering,
moralizing, demanding, threatening, or excessively needling them
with questions aimed at eliciting too much information. Each of
these forms of communication will give rise to conflict with
others who feel that you're trying to control them rather than
speak with them as an equal.
* Have confidence that others around you are capable of living as
good a life as possible all things being equal. In this respect,
even giving advice carries controlling tendencies when you use
advice as a means to interfere in another person's life, rather
than simply offering your own insights without an expectation
they'll act on what you think. The Swedish diplomat Dag
Hammerskjold once said: "Not knowing the question, it was easy for
him to give the answer." When we advise others, we risk assuming
that we have a full grasp of the problems they're facing when, in
actual fact, we usually do not and we're filtering their problem
from our own experience. It is far better to respect the other
person's intelligence and simply be there for them, instead of
trying to impose your experience as the "answer" for them. In this
way, you will cultivate peace over resentment, respect over
trivialization of their viewpoint, and confidence in their
intelligence instead of insulting them.
Moderate your convictions. Thinking in absolutes and holding to
convictions without ever considering the viewpoints and
perspectives of others is a sure way to live a life _without_
peace. This type of extremist thinking usually leads to reactive,
hasty, and driven behavior that lacks the benefit of reflection
and deliberative thinking. While this may be convenient because it
allows you to act with the confidence of absolute conviction, it
blocks out other realities in the world and can easily lead you
into conflict when other people fail to agree with your
convictions. It's harder work to remain open-minded and ready to
review your understandings, yet it's more rewarding because you'll
grow as a person and live in greater harmony with those around
you.
* Moderate your absolute convictions by always being ready to
question and to reflect. Accept that your beliefs, faith,
passions, or opinions are but some among many other beliefs,
faith, passions, and opinions in the world. Follow an ethic of
moderation that values human dignity and worth; follow the one
true absolute, which is to treat others as you wish to be treated
yourself (The Golden Rule).
* Find a variety of things to do in your life if you're finding
yourself slipping into immoderate stances about other people. It's
hard to be immoderate when you're busy doing a range of things and
seeing a wide range of people from all walks of life.
* Cultivate your sense of humor. Humor is a peace-lover's disarming
charm; few fanatics are ever humorous because they're too busy
taking themselves and their cause too seriously. Humor allows you
to release tension and to show up the repressive tendencies of
extremist thinking.
Be tolerant. Tolerance in all that you think and do will make a
difference in your life and in the lives of others around you.
Tolerance for others is about appreciating diversity, the plurality
of modern society, and being willing to live and let others live
too. When we fail to tolerate others' beliefs, ways of being, and
opinions, the end result can be discrimination, repression,
dehumanization, and ultimately violence. Practicing tolerance is at
the heart of living peacefully.
* Rather than jumping to negative conclusions about other people,
change your own perspective and nourish the good in others. In
changing your perspective of others, you can initiate change in
their own self-perception.[1] For example, instead of seeing
someone as stupid or incompetent, start calling them intelligent,
effective, and clever. This will nourish them and encourage them
to live up to the good you perceive in them. Seeing others as
interesting, special, and caring beings underneath their bravado,
anger, and torment, can bring about a great change for the better.
* Read wikiHow's articles on how to be tolerant to people's
opinions, how to be tolerant of others, and how to be tolerant of
other viewpoints for more ideas on creating more tolerance in your
life.
Be peaceful. Gandhi said "There are many causes that I am prepared
to die for but no cause that I am prepared to kill for." A peaceful
person does not use violence against another person or animal
(sentient beings). While there is much violence in this world, make
a choice to not let death and killing be a part of your philosophy
of living.
* Whenever a person aims to try to convince you that violence is
okay, stick to your beliefs and politely disagree. Realize that
some people will try to goad you by insisting that you're
undermining people involved in situations of conflict. You know is
not true and that it is a skewed vision that values conflict which
leaves many people dead, orphaned, or homeless. The former UN High
Commissioner for Human Rights, Mary Robinson, said: "My experience
of conflict is that those who are involved in it long for even a
day of peace. To have a day of cessation of violence, that to me
is an idea whose time has come." Be bolstered by the reality
that violence is not something even those involved in it want, and
that peace for humankind as a whole is a valid wish to hold.
* To be peaceful is to be able to act with compassion toward those
who are violent. Even criminals deserve to know how compassion
works, yet when a society incarcerates, and tortures, and enables
violence in our prisons and in our hearts, we are the equal of
those criminals.[2] Seek to demonstrate (not just give lip service
to) the principles of a just and fair society and from this set
the example.
* Avoid violent movies, news reports of violent acts, and music with
hateful or degrading lyrics.
* Surround yourself with peaceful images, music, and people.
* Give serious consideration to vegetarianism and veganism as your
future way of sustaining yourself. For many peace-lovers, violence
toward animals is not conducive to living a life in peace. Read
widely on the way animals are treated in the farming, hunting, and
pharmaceutical industries, and about vegetarian and vegan
lifestyles, in order to settle your own beliefs about other
sentient beings. Align the understandings you gain from this
research with your living peacefully.
Reflect. Reflection of thought is important – many a hasty
response has resulted in a tragic outcome because time to think
through all of the issues and angles has not been taken. Naturally,
there are times when fast action is essential to ensure safety but
these times do not excuse the many other times when reacting with
care and consideration will result in much better outcomes for all
concerned.
* If someone hurts you physically or mentally, do not react with
anger or violence. Stop and think. Choose instead to respond
peacefully.
* Ask the other person to stop and think and tell them that anger or
violence will not resolve the issue at hand. Simply say "please
don't do that". If they refuse to stop, remove yourself from the
scene or situation.
* Just stop yourself. When you feel like the need to respond to
something in a manner that portrays your anger, frustration, or
irritation, tell yourself "Stop". Remove yourself from the
situation that is bringing on confusion and inability to reflect.
By giving yourself the space, you'll have time to overcome the
initial angry feelings and replace them with thoughtful solutions,
including not responding.
* Practice reflective listening. Spoken language is imprecise, and
people under stress often say things that mask the real things
they'd like to say. John Powell said that "In true listening, we
reach behind the words, see through them, to find the person who
is being revealed. Listening is a search to find the treasure of
the true person as revealed verbally and non-verbally." The
importance of reflective listening to living a peaceful life is
that you stop seeing people purely from your perspective and start
trying hard to dig down into what another person is really saying
and meaning. This can lead to effective give-and-take rather than
reacting according to what you think you hear by inferring and
guessing.
Seek forgiveness, not revenge. Where does an eye for eye lead to?
Usually to many eyes missing. Pointless and self-perpetuating, given
history's lessons we know better. No matter where we live, what
religion we practice or what culture we cultivate, at the heart of
everything, we're all humans, with the same ambitions and
aspirations to raise our family, and to live life to its fullest.
Our cultural, religious, and political differences should not
provide the backbone to invoke conflicts that can only bring sadness
and destruction to our world. When you feel compelled to harm
another out of a perceived slight to your reputation, or because you
feel that their action deserves an equally abhorrent reaction, you
perpetuate anger, violence, and sorrow. Replace this with
forgiveness to seek the way of living peacefully.
* Live in the present, not the past. Dwelling on that which should
have been and reliving past hurts will keep the negatives of the
past alive and bring constant internal conflict. Forgiveness
allows you to live in the present, to look forward to the future,
and to let the past settle gently. Forgiveness is the ultimate
victory because it lets you enjoy life again by making peace with
the past.
* Forgiveness lifts you up and frees you from resentment.
Forgiveness is about learning - learning to cope with the negative
feelings that arose as a result of the act that made you angry or
upset and you learn by acknowledging those feelings rather than
burying them. And in forgiving, you empathize with the other
person, leading you to understand what motivated them; you don't
need to agree with what they did, just to understand.
* Realize that it's an insult to mask your anger as being in
"defense of another's honor". This takes away the autonomy of the
people whom you are supposedly defending by speaking and reacting
for them (which in turn encourages them to be helpless), and it is
a violent excuse for wrongdoing. Where it's perceived that someone
else's honor has been compromised, allow the alleged victim to
speak their own mind (they may not even see it as you do) and to
seek resolution through forgiveness and greater understanding.
* Even where you feel forgiveness cannot be given, this is no cause
for violence. Instead, distance yourself and be the better person.
Find inner peace. Without inner peace, you'll feel in a constant
state of conflict. Trying to fill your life with possessions or
improving yourself by social climbing without ever stopping to value
your inner worth will leave you perpetually unhappy. When you crave
something and you don't have it, you're in a place of conflict. It's
easy to forget to be grateful for what you do have when you're
constantly striving to upgrade your possessions, career, house, and
life. Equally, owning too much stuff will create conflict and
prevent you from living in peace because you're always at the beck
and call of the "needs" of your possessions, from cleaning and
maintenance, to insurance and security.
* Cut back to the essentials and make conscious decisions about what
improves or beautifies your life while discarding the rest.
* When you're angry, find a nice quiet place to stop, take a deep
breath, and relax. Turn off the TV, stereo, or computer. Get out
into nature if possible, or go for a good, long walk. Put on some
soft music or turn down the lights. When you feel calm again, get
up and get on with your life.
* At least once a day spend ten minutes in a peaceful place, such as
under a shady tree or in the park, anywhere where you can just sit
quietly without distractions.
* Living in peace means more than living in the absence of violence.
Try to cultivate peace in all areas of your life by reducing
stress as much as possible. Avoid stressful situations, such as
traffic, large crowds, etc., when possible.
Look for the wonder in the banal Live in joy. Choosing to see the
wondrousness of the world is an antidote to violence. It's hard to be
motivated to violence against that which you see as beautiful,
wondrous, amazing, and joyful; indeed, the greatest despair arising
from wars comes from the destruction of innocence, beauty, and joy.
Joy brings peace to your life because you're always prepared to see
what is good in others and the world, and to be grateful for the
wondrous aspects of life.
* Don't self-sabotage your right to be happy. Feeling unworthy of
happiness, worrying about how others will perceive you if you're
happy, and worrying about the potential awfulness when happiness
ends are all negative thinking patterns that can undermine the
pursuit of joy in your life.
* Do what you love. Life is more than your job. While your job needs
to be something that ensures your livelihood, you also need to
fulfill your life's vision. Thich Nhat Hanh has this guidance: "Do
not live with a vocation that is harmful to humans and nature. Do
not invest in companies that deprive others of their chance to
life. Select a vocation which helps realize your ideal of
compassion." Decide for yourself how far to take the meaning of
his guidance and seek work that helps sustain a peaceful life.
Be the change you wish to see in the world. This isn't just a
commonly referred to saying of Gandhi's – it's a call to action.
And there are a number of proactive ways that you can become the
peaceful change you'd like to see in the world, including:
* Change yourself. Violence starts with your acceptance of its
possibility as a solution and often its inevitability. So it's
inside you that you need to go to stop violence and become
peaceful. In seeking not to harm living beings, to live
peacefully, first change yourself, and then change the world.
* Be part of the solution. Be a person who loves every person for
who they truly are. Make people comfortable around you, and allow
them to be themselves with you. You will gain a lot of friends,
and gain respect from the friends you already have.
* Join and participate in Peace One Day.[3] Make an online,
worldwide commitment to celebrate the UN International Day of
Peace, an annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence held
every 21 September.
* Talk to other people about their views of peace. Share ideas about
ways to help create a more peaceful world and ways to embrace
differences without falling into conflict. You might like to make
videos to place online, or write stories, poems, or articles to
share with everyone about the importance of peace.
* Make sacrifices to help others. The greatest noble cause is to
display your desire to bring about peace in this world by your own
sacrifice and not that of those who oppose your views. Mahatma
Gandhi sacrificed his own lucrative law practice in Durban, South
Africa to lead a simple life and to share the pain of the
powerless and destitute. He won over the hearts of millions
without ever reigning power over anyone — simply with the power
of altruism. You too can bring peace to the world by showing your
willingness to sacrifice your self-centered desires. Win the
hearts of others by showing your willingness to serve causes
greater than yourself.[4] At the very least, consider
volunteering.
* Bring harmony to the world by championing love and peace for all.
While this may seem daunting, reflect upon how Gandhi was able to
show that a fragile, meekly man of small physical stature could
achieve feats of incredible magnitude, all based on a staunch
belief of practicing peace through non-violence.[5] Your
individual input does matter.
Broaden your understanding of peace. You're free to choose your own
path. Everything you've read in this article is but suggestion. It
is not to be followed as a dogma, it is not seeking to impose itself
on you, and it may be found as wanting as any other series of
suggestions you care to read. At the end of the day, living in peace
will be your own conscious, daily action founded on your own
strivings and understandings, gleaned from all corners of the world,
from all people you've ever met and known, and from your own
consciousness and knowledge. Go forth in peace.
* Keep learning. This article has but touched the surface of a very
deep and ongoing personal and world need. Read widely in the field
of peace, especially about peace activists and practitioners from
whom you can learn a great deal. Share your learning with others
and spread peaceful knowledge wherever you go in life.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* Always seeking confirmation of your worth by others is not a way
to live; that is a certain way to have you conforming to their
wishes and living a constantly unsettled life. Instead, accept
yourself for who you are and live life large, with love for
yourself and others.
* Accept that some people will never make it easy for you because
they don't make it easy for themselves. This sort of person is to
be viewed with compassion, not feared or hated, but equally, you
don't need to dance to their tune or hang around them. Be polite,
firm, and kind with such people.
* If you are asked to perform dissection in class, or your children
are, seek alternatives to such a harmful practice. There are
superior alternatives available.
!! Warnings !!
* No need for warnings, Peace is safe, no danger here.
* Study nutrition if you choose a vegetarian or vegan diet, it takes
strategy to obtain all the nutrients you need from only vegetable
sources.
* Peace at any price will lead to your enslavement or elimination at
the hand of the enemy. There are those among us who follow
extremely aggressive ideology of militant or totalitarian systems.
They may coexist peacefully, but not without eternal vigilance.
!! Things You'll Need !!
* Readings from peace activists
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Keep the Peace at Home
* How to Do the Peace Sign
* How to Find True Happiness and Peace
* How to Find Peace
* How to Find Inner Peace
* How to Create a Peace Garden
!! Sources And Citations !!
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
*
0 comments:
Post a Comment