Feelings are signals, and feelings also push you
to act. If the feeling is too strong, you can
easily act without thinking. Learning to take
your feeling temperature helps you stay aware of
negative feelings, thereby enabling you to take
the necessary steps to stay in control. The
sooner you take steps to control a feeling, the
better. In order to take a feeling temperature,
it is recommended to create your own personal
feeling thermometer. The following steps show you
how to do this.
!! Steps !!
Take a blank sheet of paper. Draw a thermometer near the left edge of
the page, with 10 equal levels. Next to the top of the thermometer
write "Name" and then "Feeling Clues" at the top and to the left of
the thermometer. See the picture below for a sample you can copy.
Pick the feeling that most often creates a
problem for you. The most common problem
feelings are sadness, anger, fear, worry, and
stress.
* Remember a time that feeling got you into the most trouble ever.
Make that time your number ten.
* Give that time a very specific name. Here are some examples of
names other people have used: For the end point of anger, people
have used these terms – "Howling despair" or "Pounding the wall"
or "Cursing"; for depression, people have used these terms –
"Crying too much" or "Wishing I were dead" or "Can't do what needs
doing".
* Note at least one feeling clue. A feeling clue is anything that
alerts you to the fact a feeling is visiting you. Tears are
feeling clues, self-talk is a feeling clue, and imagining what you
want to happen is a feeling clue.
Remember a time the opposite feeling visits you. The opposite of
anger, fear, and stress is calm; the opposite of sadness is
happiness. That is your number one.
* Name that time and note at least one feeling clue.
* Think about the times you first realize the feeling is visiting
you. That is your five.
* Name and note a feeling clue for that time.
* Repeat the above for all the remaining points on your feeling
thermometer.
Take your feeling temperature. Once you have created your feeling
thermometer, you can take your feeling temperature. Here's how to
do that:
* Take a deep breath in.
* Hold and as you do this, ask yourself "What am I feeling now?" and
"Where is that on my feeling thermometer?".
* Breathe out and as you do, the answer should come into your
consciousness.
Use a feeling thermometer to better control
feelings. See the image for another idea of
actions to take in response to the feeling
level on the thermometer.
* If your feelings are in the okay or better range, do nothing.
* If your feelings are in the middle, practice the one minute
meditation and then go about your business. But keep alert to what
you're feeling.
* When your feelings begin moving toward the extreme end of your
feeling thermometer, slow down, and use calming self-talk to stay
cool. If possible, take a time-out.
* If your feelings have hit the danger zone, do as little as
possible while thinking about how to best handle the feeling.
!! Tips !!
* Sounds like a lot of work? It is, which is why it's easier to
create a personal feeling thermometer only for troublesome
feelings. Otherwise, you can resort to using the "How Are You
Feeling Thermometer" posted as the introductory image.
* If you find you have trouble creating a feeling thermometer
because you cannot identify feeling clues or cannot specifically
name the points, keep a feeling log or diary for a week or two.
Most people familiar with managing negative emotions say doing the
opposite of what the feeling suggests is wisest:
* Anger says "fight" and being nice is doing the opposite.
* Fear says "run away" and running toward or facing your fear is the
opposite.
* Sadness say "shut down" and staying as active as you can is the
the opposite.
* Stress says "Hurry up" and slowing down is the opposite.
!! Things You\'ll Need !!
* Paper
* Marker, pencil, pen
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Gain Control of Your Emotions
* How to Meditate in One Minute
* How to Understand Your Emotions
* How to Express Your Emotional Pain the Healthy Way
* How to Do Emotional Clearing
!! Sources And Citations !!
* Levine, K. Parents Are People Too, An Emotional Fitness Program
for Parents. Penguin, 1997.
* www.emotionalfitnesstraining.com
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
*
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