Temptation? You can face it. So your friends want to party
on a Friday night? When they want to have a good time by
drinking but it's not for you, what do you do? This article
provides some suggestions to help you avoid the mantra that
"alcohol is the only way to have fun" and to keep your own
preferences intact, while still having fun and spending time
with your friends.
!! Steps !!
Realize that the challenge to be a minimal or non-drinker is not
unique. While some people prefer to abstain from alcohol completely
(owing to religious, personal, and health reasons), many other
college students don't mind an occasional drink to celebrate or
unwind [1] socially but are quite content to leave it at one or two
drinks now and then, and happily find other ways to enjoy
themselves. The problem in college is that there can be pressure to
drink heavily and regularly, and then the assumption is that you'll
fall into line too. Indeed, 85 to 95 percent of American college
students report drinking alcohol [2] routinely,[1] [3] and the most
problems caused on American college campuses result from the
consumption of alcohol, with 43 percent of college students drinking
in a high-risk manner at some stage during their college years.[2]
[4] For a person who abstains, the line of no crossing is very clear
but for someone who drinks alcohol occasionally, the challenge can
be at its most difficult because the excess attitude and peer
pressure can be prevalent. In either case, whether you never drink
or drink moderately and occasionally, you'll need to have your
response ready and a firmness of attitude about maintaining your
choice.
* Think through the consequences of drinking alcohol in excess, such
as losing control, damaging your reputation, being sick,
potentially harming yourself through injury or alcohol poisoning,
sleep disturbance, vulnerability to others taking advantage of you
(such as date rape [5]), violence, and wasting money.[3] [6] These
are all very sound and valid reasons for not drinking or not
drinking in excess.
This is my personal choice... Tell your friends that you don't
drink, or that you prefer to drink very little and only
occasionally, and stand by your decision. The manner of the delivery
of your explanation is important because you don't want to come
across as alienating others by being condescending [7] or judgmental;
bear in mind that those who drink alcohol have made a personal
decision and should not feel pressured about this choice.[4] [8] All
the same, it's important that you don't feel pressured about your
choice either. Perhaps provide a brief explanation as to your choice
but still indicate that you recognize other people want to experiment
and "have fun". For example:
* "No thanks, I don't drink (often). I've got a health issue that
makes it difficult for me to metabolize alcohol and it's better
for me to stick with soda [9]. I'm happy chatting with you guys
all the same and if you need a lift home, I'm your person!"
* No thanks, I don't drink because of my beliefs. But I've got a
great mocktail [10] here and the night's young, so let's party!"
* Thanks but I've already had my drink for the night and I'm
sticking with water from here on. I've got a research paper to
complete in the morning and it's already overdue. But I'm staying
here till midnight, so let's dance!
* Read How to turn down a drink [11] for some more ideas.
Disdain for the water... Avoid taking negative attitudes and verbal
criticism about your choice personally. It can be confronting to
someone who wants to drink a lot to have someone who isn't drinking
stand up for themselves. In a way, doing this in a drinking culture
environment is breaking with conformity and for some people, this
feels threatening. Rather than seeing their negative attitude toward
you as personal though, try to see their disdain as a reflection of
their own conflicted feelings about lacking control [12] over alcohol
consumption; their attitude does not mean you're a lesser person.
Simply acknowledge that they've made their choice, you've made yours,
and let them be.
* Aim to stay with people who respect your decision; if you're
hanging around with people who don't like it when you don't join
in, then they're probably not worth hanging around. Real friends
will understand and respect your decision [13] and may even come
to rely on you as the person who keeps them level-headed about
drinking in excess.
Stay firm. Once you've announced clearly how you deal with alcohol,
stick with it. You will lose people's respect [14] if you give in
and suddenly enjoy a binge-drinking session, even "just this once".
It's a win for peer pressure and a loss for your self-esteem [15]
and reputation. Sticking with your principles and beliefs can be
hard in the face of peer pressure, but learn to roll with being
outside your comfort zone [16] and remain a strong individual. It is
perfectly natural to feel discomfort but this is also a sign that
you're standing up for yourself. And whatever you do, don't lose
your cool.
Keep partying [17]. Not drinking doesn't mean you're not able to
enjoy the partying. Binge and excessive drinking is never healthy,
whatever your age, but partying is good for your soul. It's fine to
turn up to parties and drink water, soda, juice, mocktails, etc.,
all evening. The objective of partying is to socialize and you can
do that without drinks; avoid feeling that you have to drink simply
because it's what everyone else does (known by researchers as
"social modeling").
* Enjoy the dance floor [18]. Keep your water intake up and you'll
be able to dance with the best of them all night.
* Spend time talking with friends and listening to them attentively.
Most people love it when someone else pays them good attention!
* Hold a champagne glass or similar with non-alcoholic cider in it,
or a tumbler with dark soda in it. Holding this can help fend off
unwanted offers of drinks and saves unnecessary explanations to
people you hardly know about your choice.
Do things that don't involve drinking. Parties are fun but there is
a whole range of fun activities that don't involve partying or
drinking. A movie night [19] in with friends, playing games
together, or seeing a local band perform at a coffee shop, for
example, will allow you to socialize in an alcohol-free environment.
Not every night with your friends in college needs to involve a bar
or a club.
* Read How to have fun without alcohol [20] for more ideas.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* Drink for taste. Don't drink to get drunk.
* Remember, you don't have to drink to have a good time.
* Listen to your body and respect it. If you feel awful after
drinking, that's the best reason not to do it.
* You don't have to give up your social life. Remember, you can
always have a soda, water, or a virgin drink (like a strawberry
daiquiri minus the alcohol).
* Offer to be a designated driver. That way, you can make sure that
your friends get home safely. Stand up for yourself, though; don't
let them abuse you.
* If you want to live on campus, look for "dry halls" that prohibit
alcohol in the building.
* Do not avoid questions about why you're not drinking from people
you don't know, as this shows weakness and people will exploit it.
Don't parade it however.
* Drinking water is always the best option, and you could benefit
from the added water intake anyway.
!! Warnings !!
* Beware spiked drinks. This might be a problem if someone feels a
sense of unease or disgust about your choice to not drink. If
someone tastes wrong, do not drink it. And if there are rumors
about a place having spiked drinks, avoid it.
* If you can't beat them, don't join them. This is definitely one
time when joining in will harm your health and reputation.
* By all means try to help a drunk friend in distress but don't
sermonize about the evils of drink because that'll definitely put
you off side.
!! Things You'll Need !!
* Alternative activities
* Water and soda, etc.
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Politely Turn Down a Drink From Your Host [21]
* How to Live With a College Roommate Who Is Your Total Opposite
[22]
* How to Hide Your Drinking From Your Parents When You're in College
[23]
* How to Say No to Drugs and Alcohol [24]
* How to Escape from a Drunken Date [25]
!! Sources And Citations !!
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
*
Links:
------
[1] http://www.wikihow.com/Unwind
[2] http://www.wikihow.com/Limit-Your-Alcohol-Intake-to-the-Recommended-Two-or-Less-Servings-Per-Day
[3] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-0
[4] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-1
[5] http://www.wikihow.com/Prevent-Date-Rape
[6] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-2
[7] http://www.wikihow.com/Image:Exposition.jpg
[8] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-3
[9] http://www.wikihow.com/Drink-a-Soda
[10] http://www.wikihow.com/Throw-the-Perfect-Mocktail-Party
[11] http://www.wikihow.com/Turn-Down-a-Drink
[12] http://www.wikihow.com/Image:Glare-down.jpg
[13] http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-to-Negative-Peer-Pressure
[14] http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Respected
[15] http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Self-Esteem
[16] http://www.wikihow.com/Step-Out-of-Your-Comfort-Zone
[17] http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Self-Destructive-Behaviour-in-College
[18] http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Good-on-a-Dance-Floor
[19] http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Food-and-Movie-Night
[20] http://www.wikihow.com/Have-Fun-Without-Drugs-and-Alcohol
[21] http://www.wikihow.com/Politely-Turn-Down-a-Drink-From-Your-Host
[22] http://www.wikihow.com/Live-With-a-College-Roommate-Who-Is-Your-Total-Opposite
[23] http://www.wikihow.com/Hide-Your-Drinking-From-Your-Parents-When-You%27re-in-College
[24] http://www.wikihow.com/Say-No-to-Drugs-and-Alcohol
[25] http://www.wikihow.com/Escape-from-a-Drunken-Date
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