Probably the most widely used and known social
networking site, almost half of Facebook's users
visit it every day.[1] And some of its users
spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook,
allowing the hours to while away unnoticed, the
chores to go uncompleted, and even going so far
as to ignore family and friends in the actual
world.[2]
While "Facebook addiction" or "Facebook addiction disorder" are not
medically approved terms, the reality of addictive behaviors on
Facebook are a growing problem for many Facebook users, and one that
therapists are seeing more frequently in their patients.[3]
If you've found that connecting, sharing, and learning via Facebook
has taken over all avenues of communicating and learning in your life,
it's possible that you're suffering from Facebook addiction. And
relax! This article isn't about stopping your enjoyment of Facebook;
rather, the aim here is to help you identify whether you're using
Facebook in an addictive way, and help you to find more constructive
ways to connect socially via Facebook.
!! Steps !!
_ Recognize the signs of a Facebook addiction.
While there is currently no such thing as a medically blessed
diagnosable "Facebook addiction" or "Facebook addiction disorder"
that a health or medical professional could categorically state
you're suffering from, addictive behaviors have common threads that
can lead to dysfunctional socializing and obsessive behaviors. The
following signs indicate an unhealthy neediness for Facebook:
* You wake up and the first thing you do is "check Facebook". And
it's the last thing you do at night.
* Nothing else thrills you or you feel "empty" without Facebook. All
you want to do is spend time on Facebook, even to the exclusion of
getting work done that needs to be done, or meeting family
obligations. When not being on Facebook causes physical pain,
sweats, illness and you're champing at the leash to get back on
it, your obsession has become an unhealthy one.
* You're not able to go for more than a day without using Facebook.
If forced to do so, you find yourself suffering from Facebook
"withdrawal" symptoms, such as finding nothing else interesting,
trying to find ways to get back to Facebook even if it means using
a computer that is either out of bounds (for example, not yours),
or difficult to get to, or you find yourself intensely worried
about missing out on Facebook updates. These are all very
unhealthy signs.
* Even if you're not on Facebook constantly (indicating you need a
reality check), checking it many times during the day is a sign of
compulsive behavior. Spending more than an hour on Facebook a day
will easily cut into all the other obligations you have in life
and may cause social dysfunction problems.[4]
* Your real life isn't going so well and Facebook presents a fantasy
escape life where everything seems unencumbered, neat, happy, and
easy – all things that are the opposite of your everyday life.
* Adequate sleep ceases to be important to
you.[5] Instead, you're prepared to stay up way too late just to
be able to accommodate your Facebook neediness. After all, you
excuse yourself, your friends might think it's remiss of you not
to be around!
* Nostalgia has you in its grip. When Facebook starts becoming a way
through which you're living in the past, it's a sign of needing to
break from it.[6] Rehashing old loves and friendships with the
hope that you can pinpoint the exact moment where your life should
have taken a different turn and trying to patch it up through
fantasizing over Facebook is looking backwards and beating
yourself up over what didn't work out. Realize the importance of
living in the here and now. This type of nostalgia is even more
damaging if you have a loose tongue about the relationships you're
actually in because other people will be reading your words and
some may perceive them as a betrayal or as signs of an emotional
affair.
* You've tons of friends on Facebook but you still feel very
lonely.[7]
Start questioning what you're doing on
Facebook. Rather than simply going on Facebook
and "falling under its spell", start
consciously determining what you're really
getting out of Facebook. Asking questions about
its value to you in your own life's context is
healthy, especially when you feel that you
might have been overdoing it a bit. Whittle
down to the things that bring real value,
within a defined time limitation. Record what
you're doing on Facebook for a week. Be
diligent about this reality check task and
don't spare yourself; buy a small notebook and
devote time to its updating. Things in
particular to keep an eye out for include:
* If you're just checking in to respond to pokes, to see friends
updating their profiles, to write a new note, or to see what songs
your friends are adding, you're addicted to trivia. And letting
trivia run your day is not conducive to a satisfying life
long-term!
* Are you wandering about Facebook aimlessly? You've just confirmed
a new friend, and you're curious as to the friends of that friend
and whether any are your friends, or could be your friends, and
what those friends are doing? If this sounds all too familiar,
you're time on Facebook has turned aimless. And you're being
lulled into this by the connectivity ease of Facebook without
being alert to the lack of productivity resulting.
* Are you excusing yourself because of work? Even someone using
Facebook for business purposes can start allowing the business
socializing to bleed into general socializing under the rubric of
"work". It's important to notice when you're falling into this
transitional phase and to demarcate work and socializing, in order
to put a time limit on both. Otherwise, you're giving yourself too
large a justification to just keep on keeping on Facebook.
* Is that friend really a friend? How beneficial is maintaining a
friendship with someone you've never met but linked up just
because they were a friend of a friend of a real friend of yours?
They might be amazing but if they're barely connecting with you,
they might be part of the peripheral distractions that are causing
you to sink into Facebook rather than interact on Facebook in ways
that have true value.
* Is any of what you're doing constructive either from a personal or
a professional point of view? Be honest with yourself!
Perhaps you need to revisit the purpose?Decide what is of value
on Facebook. Whatever the reason for being a part of Facebook,
boundaries matter and knowing what is of value and what is not
will help you to rein in poor online habits. Even a reason of
wanting to ensure that your family is kept up-to-date of your
interstate or overseas happenings can meander out of control if
your concept of "family" expands. If you use Facebook for work
and personal reasons, the value will probably be broader, but it
is still important to define the value boundaries for work and
personal time. When deciding upon what value you're getting out
of Facebook, consider the following:
* Are you enjoying it? Is this enjoyment balanced with a whole range
of other enjoyable pursuits in your life too?
* Do you feel obliged to respond to some people on Facebook even
though you'd prefer not to?
* Which parts of Facebook really do improve your personal and
professional life? It can be helpful to list these for clarity,
and to clear some of the negativity and the trivia.
Spend a holiday season on activities other than FacebookTry
giving up Facebook for a specific event to see how you fare.
This article is not advocating leaving Facebook entirely unless
that's the choice you feel you want to take. However, it can be
very advantageous to choose a special event and to decide that
for the duration of that event, that you will not use Facebook
at all. You can even warn your other Facebook friends that this
event is coming up but whatever you do, stick to it. For
example, some Facebook users take summer vacation breaks, some
take a break for a religious observance such as Lent,[8] and
some people take breaks when special family events such as a
wedding or a birthday are coming up and they need to prepare,
travel, be available for it, etc., without wanting to be
distracted.
* Any well defined event carries significance for breaking a habit
because they represent occasions during which you need to focus on
other than yourself, whether it be faith, family, or some other
important external matter. This can help to take you outside of
any internal funk that has you glued to Facebook, as well as
providing a set period during which you've promised yourself that
you won't use Facebook. During this break, reflect on your
Facebook neediness and think through how to restore a more
even-keeled approach to using Facebook.
* The good thing about telling your Facebook friends that you won't
be on for a bit is that you've just burned a bridge that will
cause you to "lose face" if you do sneak on. Be strong and give
them the reassurance that you're one to keep your word.
Target solutions to enable smarter, brighter usage of Facebook in
the future. While you could quit Facebook, it's probably far more
productive, constructive, and socially useful to manage it and to
put Facebook in its place in your life. Some of the positive
solutions for healthy Facebook usage include (and you'll think of
others):
* Avoid fiddling with the periphery. Take a
good look at your profile. Does it work for you or does it bother
you? Changing a profile image over and over is a sign of worrying
too much about your Facebook image. If the current image works,
leave it be. If it bothers you, fix it right now, photo included.
Why? Because once you fix it, be prepared to leave it alone_ for a
long time. Keeping your profile stable will build trust in the
online environment; not constantly trying to update it will spare
you one more unnecessary fiddle on Facebook.
* _ Stop changing your status frequently. Think
"so what?" before attempting to do this. Every time you change it,
it logs into your friends' news feed on the home page and clogs it
up. Why do you feel compelled to announce your every move or mood
you are temporarily experiencing? It ceases to be of interest for
others, and it's more unnecessary fiddling for you! Without
changing your status, it remains as is for a week and then resets
to "What are you doing right now?"_ for you to say something.
* Think of how often you use Facebook applications. In order to use
an application, you must install it on your account. And then use
it; and many apps are compelling enough to draw users in for hours
at a time.[9] Before adding any application ask yourself "How
productive is this?" If it is worthless, think about what it's
doing to your friends who get to be at the receiving end of your
invitations to gain points, receive gifts, or to see results...
Each time a person receives an invitation, they need to accept or
ignore it. Don't be the cause of other people's fiddling. And make
applications work for you, not the other way round; get rid of the
ones that are sheer time-wasters or pointless.
* _ Present the most used applications on your
profile and hide the rest. Even when hidden, the application can
still be used. Clogging your profile with everything you have
makes it unappealing to a person due to the clutter and is a
hassle when a person has to scroll down to write on a wall or add
an item on the bottom.
Be careful of the race to have as many friends
as possible. If you're driven to have more
friends on Facebook than you can ever
realistically engage with regularly, it's
important to stop what is, effectively, a
"friendship addiction".[10] Having more friends
than you can realistically connect with can be
a source of anxiety rather than pleasure. Enjoy
the friends you already have on Facebook but
weed out those who aren't adding anything to
your Facebook experience.
* Given that Facebook almost compels you to add friends, if you're
vulnerable to defining your self worth through the amount_ of
friendships rather than the _quality_ of them, then Facebook can
be dangerous for you while you're recovering from any other sort
of addiction or going through emotionally difficult times.[11]
Resist the urge to add people you don't really know or want to
engage with, and to cull those who mean very little to you from
your friends list.
* Beware of the potential of Facebook to increase a sense of
loneliness rather than assuage it. Spending time on Facebook
rather than with face-to-face friends will increase any feelings
of loneliness you may already have and ironically, the more people
you're trying to keep apace with, the lonelier it'll seem because
you'll end up with quantity rather than quality.[12] Switch from
using Facebook as a substitute for friendships to using it as a
way to energize and synergize the friendships you already
have.[13]
* Avoid being a Facebook automaton. If you're
caught saying, "I'll facebook you later" or "I'm going to do some
facebooking", then you're well overdue for taking a break from the
site to hang out with friends in the real world (or offline life).
Every time you feel like saying "I'll facebook you", check
yourself and rephrase that with "I'll see you", or "I'll call
you". And mean it - settle the catch-up time straight away.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* To hide a Facebook application addiction from your friends, click
on the "Edit" next to the Application on the left hand side. Click
on the "Edit Settings" of each application and uncheck the "Mini
Feed". This will disable the specific application's activity
logged in your friends' News Feed and your Mini-Feed on your
profile. This method is very helpful if you take a lot of movie
quizzes. Of course, hiding your addiction isn't healthy, so it's
far better if you can manage to rein it in.
* Ironically, even some of the very mental health professionals who
are supposed to be able to help the rest of us spot our addictive
online activities are themselves enthralled by it![14]
!! Things You\'ll Need !!
* Alarm clock with timer sound to limit your Facebook time
* Other distractions
* Calendar with meet-ups penned in to spend time with others
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Quit Facebook
* How to Avoid Wasting Time on Facebook
* How to Facelift Your Facebook
* How to Compose a Message on Facebook
* How to Permanently Delete a Facebook Account
!! Sources And Citations !!
* Original source of initial text, VideoJug,
http://www.videojug.com/film/what-is-facebook-addiction VideoJug,
shared with permission.
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
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