How to Get Your Confidence Back

How to Get Your Confidence Back

[1]

Getting confidence is one thing, getting your confidence back is a
substantially different one. You see, people who've always lacked
confidence in a certain area aren't familiar with the emotion and
they have a hard time grasping the associated behavior.

On the other hand, people who had confidence in a certain area at some
point but they've lost it are familiar with the emotion and the
related behavior, they've just lost touch with them. What they need
is to get those emotions to surface again.

This is easier than inventing them from scratch, but it is also
different in many ways and it requires a customized approach. Here are
my top ideas on how to get your confidence back:

*1. Remember the Feeling*

It's a lot easier to get a feeling of confidence when you need it if
you get reacquainted with that feeling when you had it. The better you
can remember that positive state of confidence you had, the more you
can leverage it.

One highly effective exercise for this is _past visualization_. What
you do is think about a specific situation in the past when you felt
very confident even if now you may lack confidence in similar
situations. You close your eyes, get conformable and visualize the
situation.

Make the visualization as vivid as possible; remember as much of the
details as you can, as if that past experience was really happening
right now. As you do so, you'll notice that feeling of
self-assurance coming back strong and you'll become familiar with it
again.

*2. Model Your Own Thinking*

One of the most important discoveries in modern psychology is that our
feelings are often triggered and reinforced by our cognitive schemas
and the way we think.

The good news if you used to be confident is that you already have a
way of thinking somewhere in your head that boosts confidence. What
you need to do is dig it out and put it into practice again.

Past visualization is also a wonderful tool for discovering your past
ways of thinking that created confidence. As you discover them, you
can consciously begin to apply them in the present: talk to yourself
the way you used to, focus mentally on the things you used to and
you'll begin to feel the way you used to.

*3. Act As If*

One of the perks of having had confidence in the past is that you also
behaved confidently. That means that in your past-self, you already
have a model for self-assured behavior.

Remember that behavior with as much clarity as possible and
consciously begin to practice it in the present. This is acting 'as
if' you were that confident person again. It may not be easy at
first, but since you have it in you, it will quickly become natural.

The mind and the body are connected. Feelings influence behavior, but
it also works the other way. As you act as if you were confident,
since your mind already has a memory of such behavior, it will begin
to elicit that same state of confidence associated with that behavior.
Thus, you become confident by acting confidently.

Learning how to get your confidence back is a matter of using the
right tools and wisely using the past to rejuvenate the present.

It is also a matter of consistent practice. It may be easier to get
confidence back than to get it for the first time, but it still not
easy. It requires making it a priority, practicing daily and sticking
to it. As you do so, you will see remarkable changes in your attitude
and progress in your life.

_Eduard Ezeanu is a communication coach with an attitude-based
approach. If you enjoyed this article, also learn how to gain
confidence and find out how to overcome shyness from two top articles
on his People Skills Decoded blog._

Links:
------
[1] http://api.tweetmeme.com/share?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pickthebrain.com%2Fblog%2Fhow-to-get-your-confidence-back%2F