Bullying can happen anywhere people congregate and lose their sense
of courtesy and boundaries. Facebook is no different given its
networking purpose; indeed, bullying on Facebook can cause even more
distress and fear than being bullied in real life because the
bullying enters your home sanctuary as well, extending both the
extent and time frame of bullying.[1] [1]
If you're a victim of bullying on Facebook or you've witnessed it
happening, here are some suggestions for stopping the bullying in its
tracks.
!! Steps !!
Make your Facebook account as bully-proof as possible. Be sure to
make your settings safe by only letting your known friends see your
account and interact with you. If something happens in real life that
you think could spill over onto Facebook, consider taking pre-emptive
action to remove the problem person before they can try anything. For
example, if someone you know from school or work who bullies you
there asks you to be their friend, deny the friend request. If they
ask you about it in real life, be polite and say that you don't have
the time for more than 20 friends and family members and that all the
spaces are already filled.
* Set up a limited profile so that you can control how much people
other than your accepted friends can see when they find your
Facebook page. Go to the "My Privacy" page and click on "Limited
Profile Settings". Be very cautious about which settings you allow
to be viewable by just anybody; keep most things to confirmed
friends only – list their names in the limited profiles box. If
you're a parent, help your teen to work out the appropriate
profile level.[2] [2]
* Learn how to block friends who don't behave like friends. Read How
to block people on Facebook and How to block someone in Facebook
chat for details.
Spot bullying tactics. Bullying can come across in different ways
to different people and online it is not always easy to detect a
person's real meaning and sometimes you'll need to assess whether
or not you're reading too much into something. But some things
that might denote bullying on Facebook include:
* Wall posts that say intimidating, mean-spirited, or outright nasty
things about you, your friends, and the things you care about. For
example: "Marcia, May and me all hate you. You've got really bad
breath. Don't bother coming to school tomorrow."
* Consistent abuse about the things you've posted. For example: "Why
do you post such STUPID things???? You're a waste of space!!!!"
* Use of lots of punctuation, such as
WTF????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on a consistent basis,
intended to ram home a message without any subtlety.
* Use of ALL CAPITALS can denote a menacing attitude. Online
etiquette views most usage of ALL CAPITALS as the equivalent of
shouting and if the message is accompanied by negative words or
implications, it might be an attempt to bully you.
* Posting photos or videos of you online that are unflattering, that
show bullying of you that's happened in real life (for example,
phone shots of people roughing you up), or tagging you in photos
that suggest negative things.
* They use threatening, harassing, or nasty language in Facebook
chat.
* They start a Facebook group based on you, such as something like
"10 Reasons to Hate Hermione B".[3] [3][4] [4]
Look for a pattern. Be sure that the bullying commentary is not
just a one-off stupid, petty or insulting comment that was added
thoughtlessly. If there is a pattern of leaving nasty messages on
your wall, it's obvious that the person doesn't intend to stop.
Also consider how this person behaves toward you in real life if
you know them in your daily life. Is this something they're
carrying over from their everyday behavior?
* Be aware that it's possible for one thing to be enough to
establish harassing behavior, such as threatening you, or adding
compromising photos of you with suggestive comments, etc.
Tell the bully to stop. Initially, it might be enough to ask the
person to stop bothering you. Message them quietly at first but if
they keep it up, leave a public request; knowing that your other
friends can read it might shame them into ceasing.
* If the bully is someone known to you in a professional capacity,
remind them of their need to remain professional in the online
sphere. You might do well to remind them that your wall is read by
many people too and that other people's perception of them is
likely to change if they read anymore of the harassing comments.
Talk to your trusted friends about what is happening. They may be
able to leave messages asking the bully to stop as well, and to
make it obvious in public that the bully's behavior is unwanted
and not tolerated.
* If you're a teen, talk to your parents. Your parents can contact
the relevant parents or school and discuss what is happening. They
can also consider legal action if the bullying does not cease.
* Don't stoop to play their game. You might feel safer responding in
kind from the relative "safety" of your computer but this will
only increase the problem, and could result in flame wars and real
life confrontation. Ignore their attempts to lure you into
responding and block them from being your Facebook friend.
Ignoring is usually the best means for deflating a bully's
satisfaction.[5] [5]
Report them. There's no need to pussyfoot around if you've being
nice and things didn't stop. Report the bullying behavior,
activities, and the bully to Facebook administrators. Outline the
facts and the impact that the bullying is having on you and request
that action be taken, including removal of any bullying posts,
groups, or other public elements. Parents can report on behalf of
teens; for more information, see Facebook's own instructions at
http://www.facebook.com/help/?safety=parents.
* If you have a guidance counselor at school, college, or your
workplace, you might consider going to them for help. Ask them for
the school, institution, or company policy on bullying and
harassment to see whether Facebook is covered. Even if it's not,
the substance of the bullying itself should be the subject of an
anti-bullying or anti-harassment policy. Find out what you can do
to get help and support, and to get the bullying to stop.
* If you're unhappy with the response of a counselor or other
person, or of Facebook, consider talking to someone in your local
police station for further advice. They may be able to help you
directly, or to send you to someone else who can help.
* The police should be involved if you have received physical
threats, racial taunts, or if photos or videos of you being
mistreated, demeaned, or showing nudity are involved.
Close your Facebook account. If you're really unhappy using the
Facebook account and things feel out of control, or you feel
over-exposed, consider deleting your Facebook account. You can
always open a new account when you're feeling stronger or when
you're older.
* Another way to cope may be to open a new Facebook account using a
different name, such as your first and middle name. You may need
to talk to Facebook administrators about opening an account with a
"non-real" name but if bullying is the issue, then you have good
grounds for being exempted from the usual name policy.
* Don't participate in Facebook bullying yourself. Put a stop to
cyber-bullying via Facebook by pointing out when it's wrong and
reminding those who participate in it how it harms others,
including to the point where some teenagers have killed themselves
as a result of bullying in the online environment.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* For parents: Supervise your children's use of Facebook and
practice intentional parenting by establishing rules and
limits.[6] [6] Don't allow your children to be on Facebook if
they're under 13. Facebook's rules prevent children under 13 from
using it, and with good reason. However, this doesn't stop kids
from lying, so it's important that you monitor what your under 13
is doing. There are plenty of sites that serve like Facebook for
kids, where 24 hour adult moderation takes place and bullying
behavior is quickly stamped out. For children over 13, let them
know you're available to talk about any issues that might arise in
their use of Facebook. It's a good idea to ask them regularly how
their online experience is going, in a friendly and
non-confrontational manner. Remind them too of what Sarah Migas
believes: "A diary is the appropriate place for secrets.
Technology is not."[7] [7] An aware parent is a parent who cares.
* Some schools are now holding cyberbullying seminars or talks for
parents to help parents identify the problems and know how to
respond. Take the time to attend one of these so that your
awareness is increased and so that you feel confident you know how
to help your teen or even young adult tackle the new
cyber-bullying challenges.
* Sometimes the person trying to bully you might start a fake
account to try and chat with you or leave messages on your wall.
In this case, don't try to guess if this is the bully in question.
If the messaging is mean-spirited and suspicious, report the
person to Facebook immediately and block them from being able to
interact with you. _Always_ be wary of accepting any friend
requests from people you don't know; if it is someone purporting
to be a friend you do know but you're unsure, email that friend to
check that they have actually asked you to be their friend on
Facebook.
!! Warnings !!
* Report anyone who behaves suspiciously or behaves inappropriately
to Facebook. It is better that they handle the situation with
their skills and responsibilities to ensure that the site is a
safe and enjoyable place to spend time.
* If you don't feel that your school is likely to be supportive of
you reaching out for help, consider speaking to a psychologist or
counselor outside of the environment. You may also need to
consider whether or not it's worth taking legal action against a
school that does not strictly enforce it's anti-bullying policy
where it perceives some bullying as less worthy of investigation
than other bullying; speak to a lawyer for advice because bullying
for any reason is never acceptable. This applies to teachers who
have been harassed online as much as it applies to students who
have been bullied.
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Stop Facebook Texts
* How to Quit Facebook
* How to Permanently Delete a Facebook Account
* How to Create a Facebook Profile
* How to Deal With Facebook Stalkers
!! Sources And Citations !!
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
*
Links:
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[1] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-0
[2] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-1
[3] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-2
[4] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-3
[5] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-4
[6] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-5
[7] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-6
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