In today's society there is a strong trend towards separation. More
and more relationships break down. More and more people are
permanently alone. In surveys, about 10 percent of singles
themselves to be happy, 40 percent feel unhappy, and 50 percent see
themselves in the middle. For people who are in a partnership, up to
40 percent feel happy, 10 percent unhappy and 50 percent place
themselves in between feeling happy and unhappy.[1]
These results show that people respond differently to loneliness. Some
people feel happy as singles, some unfortunate, and most live in the
area between. However, there are four times more unhappy single people
than people in a partnership. And most singles suffer from loneliness.
The following steps work for both singles and people in relationships.
Also, it's important to recognize that even people in relationships
can feel lonely sometimes. Inner happiness is a good way for all of
us, and most importantly for singles who perceive being alone as a
source of unhappiness.
!! Steps !!
Process the loss of your partner. The first major step towards
leading a positive single life is to overcome the loss of a former
partner. Most people have had one or more relationships. The longer
these relationships have lasted, and the more intense they were, the
longer is the time needed to process through the sadness and negative
emotions associated with the loss.
* Live your grief completely. If you repress your grief, it will dig
further into your subconscious. Subconsciously, most of us long
for a happy, enduring relationship. It helps to look at the
thoughts present inside. Cry over your loss and reflect on the
essence of life, so that you may come back to positive thoughts
again.
* Listen to sad music, read books, or take walks in nostalgic places
where the two of you used to frequent. Face the unhappiness
directly.
* Talk with other people about your suffering.
* Forgive your partner and send him or her positive wishes for their
well-being. We want all beings in the world to be happy, even
those who are now lost to us.
* Meditate. The way of meditation allows all of our thoughts and
feelings to come out. Let your thoughts and feelings come and go
at will. Just observe. Leave them be until they settle of their
own accord.
* Think Positively. The way of positive thinking is to think about
the meaning of life, to focus on positive goals and to overcome
grief with positive thoughts and phrases.
* Connect meditation and positive thinking. If we only meditate, we
can easily sink into sadness. Positive thinking can lead to the
suppression of sorrowful thoughts and to inner tensions. If we
make room to connect both meditation and positive thinking at the
same time, our tensions will resolve. Inner happiness appears.
View single life as an opportunity rather than as a curse. Consider
your single life as an opportunity for intensive growth to inner
happiness. Make the path of inner happiness the center of your life
while this chance exists. There are many people in couples who
would jump at such freedom!
* A relationship can distract a person from the spiritual path.
Human beings are lost in worldly communication, wasting time
talking too much. We put much of our energies into outer
relationship activities. In a relationship, the main focus is
mostly on the partner and not on the spiritual goal. The partner
calls for proximity, contact and communication.
* As a single person, you get the opportunity for a lot of rest.
This is at once both a great burden and a great opportunity.
Plenty of rest is the main path to enlightenment; with plenty of
rest, inner tension dissolves almost by itself. Connecting a lot
of rest with regular spiritual practice is the optimal way to
enlightenment. Those singles who do not try to abolish rest by
maintaining too many contacts with many people or constantly
turning on the TV, but who instead seek to make the most of the
opportunity to rest and combine this restfulness with spiritual
practices, tend to grow into inner happiness.
* The person who sees things clearly, focuses things right in life.
And then the single life suddenly becomes a godsend. According to
Swami Sivananda, the fastest way to inner happiness is to live
alone and to constantly practice spiritually.[2] Amma (Mata
Amritanandamay) said that you will get ahead on the path of inner
happiness five times faster when you live alone.[3] Even Buddha
pronounced that the deep inner happiness (enlightenment) is
difficult to achieve when you live in a relationship.[4]
* Develop a spiritual plan for each day. A spiritual plan is the
means for being victorious over boredom and the loss of meaning of
life. With a spiritual plan in place, your days are now filled.
Having such a schedule gives your single life a positive
structure. It gives you inner strength and positivity, and you
live based on positive goals. Thus, you will become internally
positive.
Spend a part of your day in various phases of spiritual practice.
Feelings such as loneliness, boredom and meaninglessness are caused
by internal tensions. These tensions block the energy of your
happiness (enlightenment energy). Everyone has enlightenment energy
within. Find the spiritual exercises that awaken your happiness
every day.
* The most important spiritual exercises are yoga, walking,
meditation, reading, and positive thinking (cognitive work). The
effort will be rewarded by reducing your feelings of unhappiness.
Distribute your spiritual exercises over the day. Doing so will
ensure that your tensions dissolve, keeping awake you happiness
energy, and bringing you into the light. The spiritual way offers
cleansing.
* Cleanse your tensions with persistence and creativity each day,
until one day, you're living in permanent light. Once at this
point, you'll easily find friends, because they're happy in your
company.
Follow the path of the Karma Yoga. This path is a great gift for
singles; it allows you to overcome your loneliness on a deep level
to get into the energy of the all-comprehensive love. How do you
become a Karma Yogi? The center of the path of love is the goal of
a happy world. Wish happiness to all beings. In your mind you are
already seeing the goal of a happy world realized. Live with a
positive vision; this gives you the power for a positive life.
Your positive vision opens the gates of happiness within you.
* The main practice of Karma Yoga is to send light to all beings
every day. Connect yourself with your friends every day. Connect
yourself with all beings who touch you emotionally. Think their
names. Move a hand and send them love and light. Send light all
over the globe. Wish for all people in the word to be happy.
* Wish for a happy world. Wish a happy cosmos. Break through your
isolation as a single. Live in constant emotional contact with all
other beings in the world. At some point, your feeling of
loneliness will disappear. You are full of love.
* It is important that you view this exercise as a real energy
transfer. Help people heal with your light, and the light
meditation will open your heart every day.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* We should manifest our desire for a happy world externally too.
Otherwise, our subconscious mind does not believe us, and we do
not really get deep into the energy of embracing love.
* There are many ways to help our fellow humans. There are many
small positive actions you can practice regularly: Donate money to
the people in the Third World; give a person a smile or a positive
word; or perhaps work in a non-profit organization. Find a way of
helping that suits you and is practicable for your situation. For
example, a woman who was sick found her inner happiness by taking
out two two hours each day to write letters of encouragement to
other people. Every person is able to help fellow human beings in
some way; even if we do only a small thing each day, doing so will
bring us into the power of embracing love in the long term.
!! Warnings !!
* It is very important for a single to see things clearly. The main
happiness of a a human is his or her inner happiness; 90 percent
of happiness is derived from inner happiness, and this determines
how happy a person is in life.[5]
* Enlightenment is a great grace for all singles.[6] You are not
lost. You can get to enlightenment in a relationship or as a
single. But living alone usually offers significantly a greater
chance of reaching the goal. You can live permanently as a single
person in a happiness that is unimaginable for ordinary people.
* Living alone is the hardest way of life. It is difficult for the
most people to live alone. But a life as a single person gives us
the big chance to attain enlightenment. Use this chance; realize
yourself and become an enlightened single.
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Be a Yogi
* How to Be a Hatha Yogi
* How to Do Yoga and Positive Thinking
* How to Be a Karma Yogi (Religion of Love)
* How to Enjoy the Yoga Tale of Bhagiratha (Religion of Love)
* How to Do Creative Hatha Yoga
* How to Meditate With Your Inner Voice
* How to Do Goddess Yoga
* How to Do Yoga Walking
* How to Do Laughter Yoga
* How to Do Computer Yoga
!! Sources And Citations !!
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness
* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Single_person
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
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