If you're on your way to getting married, you might be
wondering what would happen if things don't work out. You
might also be worried that your partner will interpret your
contingency planning as pessimism or distrust. A proper
prenup, however, might not only save you a messy divorce,
but it can also provide some insights as to your financial
compatibility.
!! Steps !!
* Take a healthy approach to finances in your relationship.
Prenuptial agreements usually come down to money, so if you and
your mate can talk openly about finances, then discussing what
will happen to the money and assets you share if you break up can
be a natural progression from that.
* Talk about it as early as possible. Don't wait until the wedding
draws near. You don't even have to wait until you're engaged. Even
if you're not sure whether you want a prenup, or you're not clear
on the terms yet, it's important to let your partner know that
it's on your mind. A good time to bring it up is when you're
already talking about money, as mentioned in the previous step.
You can also start the conversation by discussing a TV show,
movie, news story, or a divorce that someone you know is going
through: "What a mess. I think you should be able to keep whatever
you had before you got married. What do you think?"
Decide whether or not you need a prenup. Research the laws
surrounding marriage and divorce in your area. If you split up, how
are assets divided? Does it depend on why you're getting divorced
(for example, adultery) and whether the assets were individually
owned before you got married? Generally, you might wish to get a
prenup if you fall into any of the following categories:[1]
* You have assets such as a home, stock or retirement funds
* You own all or part of a business
* You may be receiving an inheritance
* You have children and/or grandchildren from a previous marriage
* One of you is much wealthier than the other
* One of you will be supporting the other through college
* You have loved ones who need to be taken care of, such as elderly
parents
* You have or are pursuing a degree or license in a potentially
lucrative profession such as medicine
* You could see a big increase in income because your business is
taking off, or that garage band you play in has just gotten a
contract with a big record company.
* One of you has (or anticipate having) debt.[2]
Be honest. You might not want to burst your hopelessly romantic
mate's bubble, but it's important in a healthy relationship to be
able to talk about your fears and concerns.
* If you anticipate your significant other getting defensive,
emphasize your own vulnerability.
* You might also explain that it's not the commitment or marriage
that you're questioning; it's the legalities of the contract
you're signing. In other words, you don't agree with your local
marriage laws.
* Encourage your mate to think about their own assets and future, as
well (for example, "What do you want to happen if your crafts
business takes off, and things don't work out between us? The
state would say I'm entitled to half of it, even if I have nothing
to do with it").
* Try to keep the tone light. You don't want it to feel like you're
actually getting a divorce, or planning a funeral. Be especially
affectionate. Crack a joke here and there ("I have to think about
what would happen if you meet Brad Pitt and he sees how awesome
you are, and you decide you like him better!").
* Get on the same page _before_ you see an attorney. You will be
charged based on how long the prenup takes to write. In the US,
costs range from $300 to $500 an hour on the East and West coasts,
to $100 to $125 an hour in some parts of the Midwest.[1] In
addition, you will need to hire separate attorneys (who will
co-write the prenup) for the agreement to be valid.[1][2]
Sign the agreement as soon as possible before the wedding. If the
document is signed too close to the wedding, a judge can be
convinced that one party was coerced into signing it, and toss the
contract.[1] Have a lawyer present when the prenup is signed, and
sign three copies: one for each partner, and one for an independent
lawyer, CPA or to be kept in a safety deposit box.[1] For a
prenuptial to be legal in the United States, it must:[3]
* Be made in writing
* Be voluntary
* Be signed before a notary
* Ensure that all important matters must be disclosed and the
marriage cannot be under false pretenses; and
* Not be ethically or morally unconscionable.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* You can make non-financial demands in a prenup, but a judge is
more likely to question the validity of the agreement if it has
unusual conditions, like requiring that your spouse not gain
weight, or that he or she quit smoking. A more legitimate
non-financial demand might be stipulating what religion your
children will observe if you and your betrothed are of different
faiths.[1]
* You can't waive rights to child support payments in a prenup.
* Prenups tend to be more popular with older people who have amassed
assets; younger people don't tend to have as much to lose when
they first start out and the legal fees can be offputting with all
the other wedding costs to account for.[4]
* Be aware of sunset clauses. These are clauses that render the
agreement void after certain things happen, such as the passage of
time, the birth of a child, or some other inclusion. These often
form a part of prenup agreements and the agreement is void from
the time this clause comes into effect (or is ignored).[5] Some
couples seek a "post-nuptial" agreement at this point.
!! Warnings !!
* Both of you must disclose _all_ of your assets, or else the prenup
might not hold up in court.[1]
* Seeking a prenup agreement can place a lot of stress and anxiety
on the other person, who might feel that you lack sufficient trust
in them, and feel pressured into agreeing. It depends on how much
the other person has been exposed to the concept.
* Since a prenup agreement presupposes the possibility of a divorce,
the agreement may be morally repugnant to some people whose
religious beliefs treat marriage as a lifetime commitment that
cannot be broken. The Catholic Church discourages the use of such
an agreement.[6]
* Realize that a prenup can be contended during divorce proceedings
as much as anything else, so it may not be a watertight answer to
keeping your assets intact; that will all depend on what pans out
in the future. Choosing your mate wisely continues to remain the
best decision.
!! Things You'll Need !!
* Lawyer
* Prenuptial contract
* List of things to discuss and place in the contract
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Take a Healthy Approach to Finances in Your Relationship
* How to Spot a Gold Digger
* How to Discuss Finances Together in a Marriage
* How to Overcome the Fear of Marriage
* How to Deal With a Spouse's Previous Marriage
!! Sources And Citations !!
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
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