Sunday 17 October 2010

8 Steps to Living Happily Ever After

8 Steps to Living Happily Ever After

Your sword is back in the sheath and the dragon is down for
the count. You sweep up the damsel in distress (or are
swept up by the honorable knight) and ride off into the
sunset. But now what? In a culture that glorifies the act
of falling in love more than the act of being in love, it is
easy to lose focus on the things that really matter; namely
developing a sustainable relationship that will continue to
bring you happiness.

!! Steps !!

* Happiness is a personal thing. Don't expect someone
else's definition to work for you Define happiness. Far too often
people enter into relationships with unrealistic expectations.
Happiness is primarily an internal emotion so there is a limit to
how much your partner can "make" you happy. If you expect to find
a lover that will fill you with overwhelming ebullience every time
you gaze in their eyes, odds are pretty high that you will be
disappointed. Talk to your partner about what makes you happy and
learn what makes your partner happy as well.
Examine your relationship. This can be tricky because no
relationship is perfect and they all require work, but it is
entirely possible that you're in a relationship that would require
more work than finding a new partner. It can be hard to take an
objective look at something so personal, so use a few objective
measures of compatibility:

* Faith - It can be extraordinarily difficult to make a relationship
work if you don't share the same basic values. This isn't to say
that people of divergent faiths can't be happy together, but that
they will usually have to work a lot harder at it.

* Politics - For the same reason, couples who share political values
will find it much easier to stay happy over the long haul. Our
political beliefs are usually an extension of much deeper core
values so differences in political beliefs often indicate
fundamental differences in the way that we perceive the world.
Again, this doesn't mean a relationship can't succeed, but it will
be much harder.

* Social - If one half of the relationship likes to go out every
night and the other half would prefer to curl up with a good book,
it'll be much harder to find the mutual interests that will
sustain your relationship.

* Financial - It's said that as many as half of divorces are rooted
in arguments that stem from finances. If one half of the
relationship is determined to be a multimillionaire while the
other would be happy with a modest house and plenty of time to
hike, this will likely be a source for conflict later. Again, this
isn't to say that the relationship cannot work, but by recognizing
the sources of potential conflict before they arise, you can be
much better prepared to deal with them when they occur.

* Be realistic. A wise man (or woman) once said that we spend one
percent of our life making decisions, four percent fretting over
those decisions and the other 95 percent living with them. Odds
are good that you didn't end up with the fairytale romance you
envisioned as a kid, just as odds are good that you didn't end up
with the job you saw yourself doing at age 10. Great relationships
don't happen on their own and the more time you spend wishing your
partner was someone they aren't, the less time you'll have to work
hard at making the most of your relationship.

* Don't get addicted to the past. All too often people say things
like "We don't talk like we used to," or "He's just not like the
man I married". In a long relationship, you have to be prepared
for your partner to grow and mature. We continue to mature
throughout our lives and you can't expect somebody to act the same
way they did a decade ago any more than you can realistically
expect them to look the same as they did a decade ago. Instead of
focusing on the things you did together in the past, examine the
people that you've become and focus on the things you will do
together in the future.

* Keep earning it. When romance wanes in a relationship, this is due
to a lack of effort on the part of one or both parties. Very often
we become so comfortable with our lover, and so used to being
loved by them, that we fall into the trap of taking them for
granted. You can counteract this with a simple mental exercise.
Pretend that you've only just met and take your partner out on a
date as though you were trying to earn their affection for the
first time.

* Communicate. The first and last key to a successful relationship
is communication. If you're unhappy, discuss it with your partner
in a blame-free atmosphere. Remember that the key to good
communication is listening rather than speaking. You might find
that your partner shares your concerns, and just by getting them
out in the open they can be easily solved.

* Find mutual interests. The best relationships are the ones that
are augmented by common interests and activities. Most
relationships start off with at least one or two common interests
but these can fade over time, so it's important to keep trying new
things and finding the ones that suit you as a couple.

* Good relationships just keep going and going and going...
Never give up. Once you've committed to a relationship, it's far
too easy to give up when you hit a rocky patch. Before you do, try
to look at the whole relationship from start to finish and ask
yourself if your current problems are temporary or habitual. In
other words, are you always unhappy, or has your relationship just
fallen on tough times? If you can guide your relationship through
the tough times and get back on the track toward happiness, you'll
both be stronger for the journey.

!! Video !!

!! Tips !!

* Do something special for your partner. Don't get too hung up on
the details. The very fact that you spent time planning something
for them will be more than enough to bring about a smile.

* You can't do romance wrong unless you don't do it at all.

* Romance is a very personal thing. Generic gifts like teddy bears
and chocolates are great, but a gift that speaks to your lover's
unique tastes is far better.

* (For men) If you're not currently waiting on a receipt from the
florist or in the act of giving flowers to your wife/girlfriend,
you're not giving her flowers often enough. Go out and get some
flowers.

* Remember, "ever after" is a really long time! If you can be happy
75 percent of the time, you're doing better than most.

!! Related WikiHows !!

* How to Be Happy

* How to Find Happiness Within Yourself

* How to Escape Materialism and Find Happiness

* How to Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage

* How to Discuss Finances Together in a Marriage

!! Article Tools !!

* Read on wikiHow

*

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