At least a third of work colleagues are viewed as being
competitive, with most workers viewing this as a negative
thing.[1] And a number of senior executives believe that
employees are more competitive today than they were a decade
ago.[2] The majority of people want a workplace conducive to
getting along with others to ensure that work is productive
and enjoyable. However, sometimes workers who have an overly
competitive attitude to work can make this difficult to
achieve and can create rifts in the workplace. If you
suspect you're on the receiving end of regular negative
treatment dished out by an over-competitive co-worker, read
the following suggestions for dealing with them
constructively, and for reflecting over your own ideas the
role of competitiveness at work.
!! Steps !!
Surrounded by high flyers? Consider the competitive realities of
your work environment. Some workplaces are naturally more competitive
than others. For example, if you're in sales and marketing, you'll be
surrounded by people who are competitive by both nature and job
description, so expecting this to be the reality is the first part of
coping with it. On the other hand, if you're in an environment where
competitiveness isn't part of the job description, its presence can
seem foreign and unpleasant. In either case, the mindset you adopt
when you approach the competitiveness can make all the difference in
dealing with it.
* Competitiveness has both advantages and disadvantages; painting it
in a purely negative light does it a disservice. By only
concentrating on the downside of competitiveness because of how
it's impacting you personally, you risk losing sight of the
potential benefits of being on the good side of a competitive
person, on your team, and working for things you're equally
passionate about. Competitiveness can result in innovation,
successful sales and outcomes, and motivation. On the other hand,
it's clear that too much competitiveness without restraint can
exhaust ideas and people, pushing less competitive people to the
edge, and create a dog-eat-dog environment which eventually
results in a toxic work environment. Acknowledging whether or not
you're in an organization that encourages healthy competition or
is fostering extremely negative competitiveness is a vital
starting point.
* Most organizations are a combination of cooperation and
competitiveness. Problems really only arise in workplaces where
extreme _internal_ competition is not adequately dealt with.[3] If
your organization is all competition and no collaboration or sense
of shared fate, you're probably sitting in a hotbed of negative
competitiveness.
* Avoid confusing arrogance with ambition. The healthy competitive
person is driven by an internal critic that goads them to
constantly improve; the arrogant person simply assumes they're
superior to others.[4] Try praising your competitive co-worker for
work well done; if he or she is a high-achieving striver, you may
just find yourself embraced by them as someone they feel they can
trust.
Are you confident about keeping up with the rest? Look to yourself
first. If you're easily upset by competitive people, you'll find many
work situations confronting because there are always going to be
competitive people surrounding you, even in relatively
non-hierarchical professional environments. It's important to trust
your own abilities first and foremost; you're employed because those
who hired you believed you're capable and worth having on board –
don't forget that as part of the bigger picture.
* Don't take the competitiveness personally. It can be only too easy
to assume that a person's negative reaction to us is a sign that
there is either something wrong with us as a person or that we've
somehow done something wrong. However, if a co-worker has suddenly
started behaving towards you in hostile and aggressive ways for no
apparent reason, this is much more likely to be all about them
rather than you. An overly competitive person will often feel
strongly threatened by your _abilities_ - rather than by you as a
person - and their way of dealing with their feelings is to create
drama. Don't allow yourself to be sucked into it by thinking it's
personal.
* How competitive are you? It's important to acknowledge your own
level of competitiveness and complicity in fostering a competitive
approach to work, otherwise nothing will change!
* If you're feeling insecure for any reason, have the courage to
address the source of that insecurity. Perhaps you need more
training or personal development in order to be able to reach the
next level at work. Investigate the training options available to
you so that you feel reassured that you're working in a level
playing field.
Remain cordial and friendly Maintain a polite and civil manner. Try
to be friendly – if you feel you can – without losing sight of
the fact that an ultra-competitive person can be potentially
undermining. Tempting as it can be to react in the heat of the moment
when somebody is deliberately trying to make your life difficult,
this can often backfire – encouraging the offender to react to you
in worse ways than before. On the other hand, chances are if you
don't give them the emotional reaction they're seeking, they'll
conclude it's a waste of time trying to get a rise out of you and
start leaving you alone.
* It can also happen that when an over-competitive co-worker notices
that you don't intend them harm in any way, they'll feel more
motivated to treat you nicely in return.
Ask for advice– you may be pleasantly surprised Try working _with_
rather than against openly competitive colleagues. At least they're
open about their ambition and desire to outdo others. Think of the
ways that you can harness that ambitious energy and turn it to your
own good and the good of your team. For example, it can often be a
useful tactic to ask them for their advice and ideas about things
they talk about or do, rather than assuming they're going to run away
with all the glory. This flatters them, as well as giving you an
opportunity to learn from them. Openly competitive colleague types
include:
* The superstar – this competitive co-worker always needs to shine
and will go above and beyond the call of duty to do so, often
cherry-picking the most high-profile work available. This person
reacts well to being given praise and thrives on being given the
go-ahead and can inspire others. However, this competitive spirit
needs to understand that he or she remains responsible to everyone
else in the team, the boss, and the workplace.[5]
* The weightlifter – this competitive co-worker shoulders
responsibility by taking on extra workloads. This can be helpful
provided they don't overdo it and suffer from burnout.[6] This
competitive personality can be a source of morale-boosting to the
rest of the team provided they meet the deadlines and don't behave
territorially.
* The speeder – this competitive co-worker wants it done
yesterday. This can be beneficial in terms of morale and
motivation, provided they're precise. Unfortunately, being precise
is not something they're always able to provide in the rush to be
at the lead. Check the work of such a person with care while
harnessing their energy to motivate others.[7]
Be risk averse with the sneaky or saboteur competitive colleague.
These people are harder to work with than the openly competitive
colleague because they like to undermine through devious means,
including by making other people around them look bad. A sneaky
competitive colleague tends to see everyone else as potential
threats to his or her supremacy in whatever field or skill set
they're known for. You can spot a sneaky competitive colleague by
the things they conveniently leave out, such as not letting the boss
know you helped, "forgetting" to send emails to you that concern
you, or standing up in front of the weekly work meeting and
proclaiming they were solely responsible for some good outcome in
which you played a major part. Such a person is unlikely to change
his or her spots, and you'll need to manage around them as well as
standing up for yourself. When you're vexed by a sneaky negative
co-worker, consider the following:
* Keep back-up copies of everything you do, especially anything
involving this person or their responsibilities. In the event the
co-worker tries to place blame on you, or show you up in a
negative light for anything, you'll be covered. In addition, don't
be afraid to stand up and be counted when you've got the paper
trail of your involvement in work well done; this isn't the time
to play shrinking violet because the saboteur competitor doesn't
play fair.
* Keep your boss apprised of the work you've done, regardless of
what is said openly elsewhere in the workplace. Make sure your
performance is verifiable and unimpeachable.
* Cull their snooping. If you suspect a co-worker is physically
prying into your business, put a stop to it. Use secure PC
passwords to protect any electronic files you use at work and keep
your desk and filing cabinet contents locked with a key. Avoid
sharing personal information about yourself with such a co-worker.
Keep all conversations professional and distant.
* Talk to the sneaky competitor colleague directly and call him or
her on their tactics. This lets them know you're no pushover. If
you find this approach too confronting, find other colleagues
willing to approach the person with you, or talk to your boss
about the impact this person's behavior is having on your work
performance and satisfaction.
Find ways to keep your distance! If necessary, minimize contact.
This doesn't have to mean avoiding your competitive co-workers
altogether. But if hostile, negative, or undermining behavior is
ongoing, and you still have to deal with these people on a regular
basis, stick to communicating with them only when you have to without
going out of your way to interact with them. And, if this colleague
happens to be somebody who you don't directly work alongside – but
you just happen to see around the building every now and then –
avoiding them totally is probably a good idea. Evaluate
your boss's role in promoting internal competitiveness Look up
rather than sideways. If you're in an unhealthy competitive
workplace, it's possible your boss is encouraging the behavior of
colleagues playing off one another rather than promoting a level
playing field. While a boss who encourages healthy competitiveness
within an environment where everyone has equal chances of proving
themselves can be a positive motivational strategy, the boss's
expectations become problematic where he or she is "playing
favorites" and is actively creating a divisive, mistrusting workplace
culture that damages team spirit. If you think this might be
happening, there are several things you can do:
* Talk to your colleagues about their feelings concerning team
morale and management support, in order to gauge their general
feelings and understandings. Be careful not to name call or
theorize without actual facts – this is a fact-seeking exercise
at this stage. Later, if you feel there is enough concern, you
could consider raising the particular issue of competitiveness for
a general discussion but this depends on how comfortable you feel.
* Talk direct to your boss to find out what his or her strategy is
with respect to teamwork and shared outcomes in the workplace.
Consider pointing out to your boss that a team encouraged to do
well as a whole benefits the organization, especially where those
who are not performing as well are given help and advice from
those who are performing well.
* Talk to higher level management or human resources if you're
concerned that your workplace environment is too divisive.
* Consider finding a new position under a different boss, or even a
new job. If you can't find ways to work around the boss's approach
to dividing and conquering, and things don't change, it might be
time to leave. It's natural for co-workers to pick up the
attitudes of their superiors and in time many will view the overly
competitive state of affairs as acceptable.
Advocate teamwork Be an advocate for more cooperation in the
workplace. Sometimes the best policy is to be the change you want to
see in your workplace. Yes, this is a hard ask, but is it any harder
than fuming silently about the competitive colleagues hanging around
the water cooler sneering at what they perceive as their less
competitive co-workers? Some ways to encourage more cooperation in
the workplace include:[8]
* Use inclusive language. Say "We" rather than "I" when discussing
projects, teamwork, and work outcomes. Everyone has a stake in
both performing the work, and in being given the accolades for
work well done.
* Demonstrate that you view everyone as an equal, not as a superior
or inferior. Avoid responding to competitive outbreaks at work
with arrogance or jealousy; instead, seek to show people that you
value them for the skills they bring to the workplace, not their
job level or über-willingness to outshine everyone else.
* Focus on maintaining the Golden Rule in all of your interactions
with others. Don't stoop to their level – responding
competitively or with snarky comments will foster more negative
competitiveness rather than improving the situation.
* Remind yourself that overly competitive people are usually coming
to the situation with some sort of fear motivating their behavior,
such as being left behind or losing their job; perceiving this can
help add a compassionate perspective.
* Don't buy into the competitive dogma. Accept that you're
exceptional and wonderful just as you are. You don't need external
validation to prove this, nor do you need "more, more, more" of
things to show you're better than anyone else. Ask your co-workers
exactly what it is they're wanting more of, and how they feel this
is improving their personal lives. Be tactful though!
Be flexible. The suggestions outlined here offer guidance points.
Any situation where relationships are involved is contextual and
you'll need to adapt what works and discard what doesn't work
according to your personal experiences and style of workplace. What
might work for one competitive co-worker may not work so well
another, meaning that you'll need to be ready to adjust your
approach. This can consist of such things as:
* Reassessing how to engage with a super competitive person. Can you
find particular elements of what they're doing that you _do_ agree
with and have a discussion with them focused just on those agreed
points? If they believe you're clued into their aspirations,
you'll gain respect and a potential ally.
* Try being curious. Ask questions about how they've reached the
solution or idea that they're putting forward.[9] Be a good
listener; you may learn a great deal and improve your own
abilities.
* Don't push the barrel uphill. Sometimes letting the competitive
colleagues just do their thing while you do yours can be a very
satisfactory state of affairs for everyone, provided it has
positive benefits for the workplace as a whole.
!! Tips !!
* Try to empathize with the person. He or she wouldn't be doing
this in the first place if in some way they weren't feeling deeply
insecure or threatened. Try to appreciate how this feels to them.
* Incorporate *assertive* behavior techniques into your
communications.
* If the situation still gets worse after attempting all the above
steps, it may be worth either directly confronting the co-worker
about their behavior or reporting it.
!! Warnings !!
* Avoid presenting complaints to a competitive worker; they'll mark
you down immediately as a weaker person. The clever way around
this is to always ask for advice directed at the matter concerning
you.
* Workplace harassment and bullying is unacceptable; if you are
experiencing either of these problems, report it and seek support.
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Communicate in an Assertive Manner
* How to Be Assertive
* How to Respond to an Adult Bully
* How to Get a Coworker to Respect Your Personal Space
* How to Recognize Agitators Amongst Your Coworkers
* How to Deal with Workplace Bullying and Harassment
* How to Deal With Overly Competitive People
!! Sources And Citations !!
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
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