Monday 18 October 2010

How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions

How to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions

Emotions such as fear, anger, and frustration are energies. And you
can potentially "catch" these energies from people without
realizing it. If you tend to be an emotional sponge, it's vital to
know how to avoid taking on an individual's negative emotions, or
even how to deflect the free-floating negativities in crowds.
Another twist is that chronic anxiety, depression, or stress can
turn you into an emotional sponge by wearing down your defenses.
Suddenly, you become hyper-attuned to others, especially suffering
with similar pain. That's how empathy works; we zero in on
hot-button issues that are unresolved in ourselves.

From an energetic standpoint, negative emotions can originate from
several sources: what you're feeling may be your own; it may be
someone else's; or it may be a combination. Here is how to tell the
difference and strategically bolster your positive emotions so you
don't shoulder negativity that doesn't belong to you.

!! Steps !!

Identify whether you're susceptible. The person most likely to be
overwhelmed by negative energies surrounding you is an "empath",
someone who acts as an "emotional sponge". Signs that you might be
an empath include:[1]

* People call you "hyper-sensitive", "overly sensitive", etc., and
they don't mean it as a compliment!

* You sense fear, anxiety, and stress from other people and draw
this into your body, resolving them as your own physical pain and
symptoms. It doesn't have to be people you don't know or don't
like; you're also impacted by friends, family, and colleagues.

* You quickly feel exhausted, drained, and unhappy in the presence
of crowds.

* Noise, smells, and excessive talking can set off your nerves and
anxiety.

* You need to be alone to recharge your energy.

* You're less likely to intellectualize what you're feeling. Your
feelings are easily hurt.

* You're naturally giving, generous, spiritually inclined, and a
good listener.

* You tend to ensure that you've got an escape plan, so that you can
get away fast, such as bringing your own car to events, etc.

* The intimacy of close relationships can feel like suffocation or
loss of your own self.

Seek the source. First, ask yourself whether the feeling is your own
or someone else's. It could be both. If the emotion such as fear
or anger is yours, gently confront what's causing it on your own
or with professional help. If not, try to pinpoint the obvious
generator.

* For instance, if you've just watched a comedy, yet you came home
from the movie theater feeling blue, you may have incorporated the
depression of the people sitting beside you; in close proximity,
energy fields overlap.

* The same is true with going to a mall or a packed concert. If
crowded places upset or overwhelm you, it may well be because
you're absorbing all the negative energy around you.

Give yourself some distance Distance yourself from the suspected
source, where possible. Move at least twenty feet away; see if you
feel relief. Don't err on the side of not wanting to offend
strangers. In a public place, don't hesitate to change seats if you
feel a sense of depression imposing on you.

Center yourself by concentrating on your breath. Doing this connects
you to your essence. For a few minutes, keep exhaling negativity,
inhaling calm. This helps to ground yourself and purify fear or
other difficult emotions. Visualize negativity as gray fog lifting
from your body, and hope as golden light entering. This can yield
quick results.

Flush out the harm. Negative emotions such as fear frequently lodge
in your emotional center at the solar plexus (celiac plexus).

* Place your palm on your solar plexus as you keep sending
loving-kindness to that area to flush stress out.

* For longstanding depression or anxiety, use this method daily to
strengthen this center. It's comforting and it builds a sense of
safety and optimism as it becomes a ritual.

Shield yourself. A handy form of protection many people use,
including healers with trying patients, involves visualizing an
envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around
your entire body. Think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity
or physical discomfort but allows what's positive to filter in.
A reading and napping nook Manage the emotional overload.
You don't need to be beholden to your ability to absorb other's
emotions; turn the curse into a gift by practicing strategies that
can free you:

* Learn to recognize people who can bring you down. People who are
particularly difficult for emotional empaths include criticizer,
the victim, the narcissist, and the controller. Judith Orloff
terms these people "emotional vampires".[2] When you know how to
spot these behaviors, you can protect yourself against them,
including removing yourself from their presence, and telling
yourself that "I respect the person you are within even though I
don't like what you're doing."[3]

* Eat a high protein meal before entering stressful situations such
as being part of a crowd. When in a crowd, find places of refuge,
such as sitting on the edges, or standing apart.[4]

* Ensure that you don't have to rely on other people to get you out
of difficult situations. Bring your own car or know how to get
home easily when needed.[5] Have sufficient funds to be able to
make alternate arrangements if you start feeling overwhelmed.

* Set time limits. Knowing how much you can stand and obeying that
limit is vital to ensure your mental well-being. Also set kind but
meaningful boundaries with others who overwhelm you; don't stand
around listening to them talking for two hours when you can only
cope with half an hour.

* Have you own private place in a home shared with others.[6] Ask
others to respect your downtime during which you can rejuvenate.
This is especially important to prevent you from taking on your
partner's feelings too much.[7] A study, man cave, sewing room,
reading nook, etc., all offer your own space.

* Practice meditation and mindfulness.

Relax with a pet Look for positive people and situations. Call a
friend who sees the good in others. Spend time with a colleague who
affirms the bright side of things. Listen to hopeful people. Hear the
faith they have in themselves and others. Also relish hopeful words,
songs, and art forms. Hope is contagious and it will lift your mood.

* Cultivate positive emotions that boost your inner strength. If
you're surrounded by peace and love, you'll flourish as strongly
as negative emotions cause you to wilt.[8] Respecting your own
needs through healthy self love will increase your ability to
respect others.

* Learn to use compassion as a way to defend yourself against
overwhelming emotions. Compassion allows you to be empathetic to
the plight of other people but also requires that you are
compassionate toward yourself. This means that you don't need to
feel guilty about seeking respite from being overwhelmed; doing so
ensures that you can be more engaged with others in the long run,
rather than less so. It also means that you keep yourself whole by
not immersing yourself in the world of negative people.

!! Video !!

!! Tips !!

* Keep practicing these strategies. You don't have to reinvent the
wheel each time you're on emotional overload. With strategies to
cope, you can have quicker retorts to stressful situations, feel
safer, and your sensitivities can blossom.

* Aches, pains, confusion, and feeling overwhelmed after being amid
a crowd are all signs that you've absorbed negative emotions from
other people and your body is trying to protect you.

* Some people will respond to the absorption of negative emotions
with panic attacks, depression, food binges, and undiagnosable
physical symptoms.[9]

* It is possible that if you're suffering from chronic fatigue
syndrome, that you're suffering from emotional overload.[10]

!! Warnings !!

* Don't expect everyone to respect your needs. Some people never
will. But the most powerful word is "no". You don't have to comply
with their wishes; taking care of yourself comes first, then
you're better able to care for others.

!! Things You'll Need !!

* Space of your own to retreat to

!! Related WikiHows !!

* How to Deal With Psychic Vampires

* How to Be Emotionally Detached

* How to Understand Your Emotions

* How to Deal with Emotional Abuse

* How to Gain Control of Your Emotions

!! Sources And Citations !!

* http://www.judithorloff.com/free-articles.htm - Original source of
this parts of this article. Shared with permission

!! Article Tools !!

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