Thursday 21 October 2010

How to Talk With a Person Who Stutters

How to Talk With a Person Who Stutters

If you're feeling uncomfortable when talking to a person who
stutters, imagine the feelings of the person stuttering if you're
conveying frustration or worse, disinterest! An estimated 3 million
Americans stutter, mostly children, with around one percent of
stutterers being adults.[1] Stuttering can cause people to shy away
from social interaction and this leads to feelings of loneliness and
a sense of not wanting to get involved in any activities where
they'll be required to speak.

It's important to help stutterers feel safe about expressing
themselves and to be listened to with as much interest as any other
person. Here are some ways to help you talk with someone who has a
stutter.

!! Steps !!

Stuttering impacts children the most Understand stuttering.
Stuttering is a speech or communication disorder.[2] Speech is
disrupted at various points, such as the start, the middle, or at
various intervals during the conversation. It can also be accompanied
by facial movements such as trembling lips or jaws, rapid eye
blinking, or other facial movements as part of trying to speak.[3]
Stuttering has possible developmental, genetic, and neurological
causes, although the precise mechanisms behind stuttering are not yet
understood.[4]

* Some situations can worsen or set off stuttering, such as being in
public, speaking in front of people, talking on the telephone,
etc.[5]

Talk to the stuttering person normally. Unless they have a hearing
problem, there is no need to raise your voice or slow down your
own speech.

* Use normal eye contact.[6] There is no need to stare concertedly
(be careful if this is what you're doing when you concentrate!),
or to avoid their gaze.

* Don't be embarrassed. If you're not used to talking with somebody
who stutters, it might be a surprise the first time. But the
embarrassment for you is shortlived; consider the reality that the
stutterer has to endure such reactions regularly. Realize that
your facial expressions will betray your surprise and
embarrassment; if you feel this has occurred, simply apologize
briefly and ask them to continue talking.

* Don't assume a stutterer is shy, nervous, or disabled. Their
mental abilities are still in top form![7] And don't be super
unnaturally nice; just be your usual self around them.

* Relax! The more relaxed and undisturbed you come across, the more
likely the person stuttering will relax in your presence and feel
less anxious.

Listen with attentiveness. Focus on the content, not the delivery.
Ensure that your body language reflects your listening interest.[8]
Don't turn to the side, cross your arms, or fidget with fluff on
your clothing.

* Use active listening techniques, in which the stutterer is
actively encouraged to keep talking by your genuine interest and
lack of judgment. It's interesting that some stutterers are able
to talk to pets without stuttering;[9] it may well be that the
pets' inability to judge underlies this!

Be patient. If you're used to rushing through conversations, or
you're not well versed in listening skills generally, it can be
tempting to try and rush a stutterer to finish what he or she is
saying. However, not only is this impolite but it will increase
the stutterer's impression that people are unwilling to listen or
simply want to "take the words right out of their mouths".

* Don't interrupt or discard what they're trying to say. Let them
finish before having your turn.

* Resist the desire to suggest that the stutterer to slow down or
relax. This can increase the anxiety of the situation and is also
demeaning. If you think that being calm and relaxed would help, be
so yourself and this will set the tone for the rest of the
conversation.[10]

* Don't try and finish their sentences or fill in words for them. It
can be tempting but it's a sign of impatience and the stutterer
knows what he or she wants to say, it just takes longer to get
there. It's also a dangerous assumption to make; while you might
think you know where they're headed, you don't necessarily know
that, and it could give the impression that all you want to do is
rush off.

Speak up if you didn't understand what was said. Feeling shy or
uncertain won't improve the communication flow. Try to press pass
your feelings of discomfort to explain that you didn't understand
something. Your openness will be appreciated.[11]

* Be at ease asking about the subject of stuttering. Provided you
raise it politely and with a genuine interest in understanding,
most stutterers will be happy to answer your questions about
stuttering.[12] It can be a good chance for the stutterer to talk
openly about their experience.

Speak to a stuttering child in a supportive way. Given that the
majority of those suffering from stuttering are children, it is
important to talk to children with the same care and attentiveness
you'd grant a teen or adult, to help them realize that they are
loved and cherished. Some things to keep in include:[13]

* Don't hurry a child's talking. Set aside times when you're free to
just sit and listen to what your child has to say. As mentioned
earlier, avoid completing your child's thoughts.

* Avoid criticizing stuttering, or making it into something
negative. The more supportive the home environment, the more the
child will find his or her own space to develop confidence and
focus on all aspects of development, not just speech.

* If you're concerned about the reaction of other adults to your
child's speech, speak to them away from the child. Let them know
that it's important to relax and not to insist that the child
"overcome" this impediment.

* Be honest with your child about the topic of stuttering. Discuss
the facts and make it known that you love your child the way he or
she is.

* Be encouraging. If you have a friend, sibling, or someone
else you care about who stutters, try to be their rock when it
comes to speaking publicly. Help them to feel at ease about
speaking in public. Things you can do include taking them along to
public speaking events designed to help stutterers, and even
encourage and be there for them when they speak at school or other
functions.

!! Video !!

!! Tips !!

* Many children who suffer from stuttering problems overcome the
stuttering by adulthood. Boys are three times more likely to
stutter than girls.[14]

* Stuttering children are often the target of bullying; stand up for
them! Tell school authorities what is happening and request that
action be taken immediately to protect any victim of bullying.
Give your child assertive strategies to respond to a bully.[15]

* If you are called by someone who stutters, don't be surprised if
he or she doesn't speak initially but lets out sounds such as
gasping, or breathing, rather than words.[16] Just let them know
you're listening and wait for them to start speaking.

* Stuttering is also referred to as "stammering" or "disfluent
speech".[17]

* Famous stutterers in history include Winston Churchill, Marilyn
Monroe, Jimmy Stewart, Bruce Willis, Carly Simon, etc.[18]

!! Warnings !!

* Resist the desire to make a child repeat stuttered words over and
over.[19] This is not productive and will create tension and
unhappiness.

!! Things You'll Need !!

* Background information on stuttering for research (optional)

!! Related WikiHows !!

* How to Deal With Being a Stutterer in School

* How to Control Stuttering

* How to Stop Stuttering

* How to Be an Empathetic Listener

* How to Be a Good Listener

!! Sources And Citations !!

!! Article Tools !!

* Read on wikiHow

*

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