[1]
Drama sucks.
Not "dramas" as in movies, TV shows, plays, etc that are serious
in tone, but rather "drama" as in the petty ridiculous conflicts
that get blown way out of proportion for no reason at all.
Urban Dictionary [2] has my favorite definition of this kind of drama:
*_"making a big deal over something unnecessarily."_*
We'd like to believe that petty social drama ends the day we leave
high school, but sadly, this is not the case. No matter how old they
are, people can still find ways of adding unnecessary conflict to
their relationships, be they at work, at home, or with friends.
This is truly a shame, because drama increases stress, ruins
relationships, and eats away at that one precious commodity none of us
can afford to waste: time.
If you want to stress less, have better relationships, and make the
most of the limited time you have on earth, I would highly suggest you
eliminate as much of the drama from your life as you can. Here are 5
things you can do to live "drama free":
*Make No Assumptions*
Assumptions are where drama starts. Somebody does something that
bothers you, and then you run off and start making assumptions about
why they did it.
What you observe someone doing is fact. If that bother you, then you
need to deal with it. The moment you start making assumptions about
their reasons, motives, or inner dialog is the moment you move out of
the realm of rational thought and into the world of unnecessary
stress.
You have no way of truly knowing what a person is thinking or why they
do the things they do. Catch yourself when you start making those
assumptions; if you want to live drama free, let those assumptions go
and simply resolve to deal with the observable behavior.
*Don't Believe the Grapevine*
Problems tend to increase exponentially with each additional person
who is added to the communication chain. If I hear you say something,
I can be pretty sure of what I heard. If Sandy tells me that John told
Jane that Steve heard Sheila say something, chances are that the story
you are hearing bears little resemblance to the actual truth.
Each additional person alters the story to some degree. They may
remember things differently. They may add in emotion of verbiage that
wasn't there before. They may just be flat out wrong.
If you hear something through the grapevine, it might be worth
investigating. But if you work yourself up into a lather based on
third, fourth, and fifth party communication, then you are just
feeding the drama monster.
Don't get sucked into this. Skip the grapevine and go straight for
the horse's mouth. It will save time and cut the drama factor way
down…
*Be Direct*
Drama is simply a byproduct of people's inability to communicate
like logical, rational adults. This is why it is so prevalent in highs
school. This is also why it should be 100% unacceptable in the adult
world.
If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it. If you
believe that someone has a problem with you, talk to them about it.
Direct conversations nip drama in the bud. This is not to say that
direct conversations make all problems go away, but they will help you
cut through the nonsense and deal with the real issue.
Relationship challenges begin and are compounded by passive aggressive
behavior and indirect communication. If you want to cut out the drama,
be willing to have those "crucial conversations."
*Be the Bigger Person*
Fighting fire with fire is good if you are trying to control a raging
wilderness inferno. It's not so good if you are trying to eliminate
needless petty conflicts from your life.
When you find yourself the victim of some small offense, your first
instinct may be to respond in kind. While this may feel good for a
moment, it usually just escalates the situation and makes everything
worse. If you truly want to live drama free, then you need to be
willing to be the bigger person and let things go.
You don't need to get in the last word, you don't need to "one
up" the other person, and you certainly don't need to make them
pay for wronging you. Just let it go, and watch the drama flow away.
*Avoid Drama Queens*
After you have made sure that you are not creating the drama yourself,
the best way to keep your life drama free is to eliminate the drama
queens (or kings!) from your life.
This is easy when you meet new people or are dealing with someone you
aren't very close to. Once you realize they are "drama prone,"
minimize (or if you can, eliminate) the interactions you have with
them.
With people you are close to, have a long history with, or are related
to, or who are genuinely good people who's one major flaw is their
tendency to make a big deal over nothing, you don't have to cut them
out of your life altogether. Just acknowledge that quality about them
and, when they start acting up, don't get sucked into their "drama
vortex."
We are functions of our environment. To live drama free, get as many
drama creators out of your life as possible.
You may never be able to eliminate all the drama from your life, but
with just a little bit of focus and discipline you can certainly
minimize how much you have in your life. It's well worth doing –
the less drama you have in your life, the room you have for fun, joy
and great relationships!
***
_Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his
blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to
make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his
ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in
action, and download the free "How to Think Quick" MP3, visit his_
_Motivational Humor Blog [3]_ _at http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com_
Don't Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter [4]!
_*Related Articles:*_
A Smarter Approach To Time Management [5]
Tips For Breaking Bad Habits and Developing Good Habits [6]
Links:
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[1] http://bemoreconfident.info/wp-content/blogs.dir/22/files/HLIC/ce2531d4d6d79cca01938a75511a091c.jpg
[2] http://www.urbandictionary.com/
[3] http://www.motivationalsmartass.com/
[4] http://twitter.com/pickthebrain
[5] http://bemoreconfident.info/../smarter-time-management/
[6] http://bemoreconfident.info/../strategies-for-breaking-bad-habits-and-cultivating-good-ones/
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