Proposing can be one of the most unforgettable moments –
so why not make it a moment that she'll never forget?
!! Steps !!
Think first. Is this a person that you really want to spend the rest
of your life with? If so, read on.
* You've probably already been thinking this over for some time.
It's a big step but also one that many more have already made. The
important thing is to know that you love her and consider her to
be "the one". Write down or think through a list of all the
reasons that make you want to marry her. This will be important
for expressing your love to her at the proposal, as well as
confirming to yourself that you're making the right decision.
* Avoid discussing your plans too widely with others, as it can soon
filter back to her through the grapevine.
* Psych yourself up for continuous wedding talk and preparations
once you've asked her. It's useful to have an idea in your own
mind about the length of time you'd like between the engagement
and the wedding, realizing that she'll have her own ideas about
this too.
Ask her parents for permission. Although asking a father's
permission is considered by many to be old-fashioned, it hasn't died
out precisely because it's a gesture that suggests that you respect
her and her family and that you're always going to be considerate of
her family. It's also a sign of politeness, and what family can
resist that?
* Put her first – is this something that would be important to her
and her family? Or is it something that might make her cringe? Or
maybe she is estranged from her family. Take your cues from your
knowledge of her existing situation and preferences. You should
know her well enough by now.
* Another modern twist on asking for permission is to do so after
you've proposed. This can be a way of ensuring that your
wife-to-be is the first to be asked but she's aware that you still
intend to bring her family right into the fold by asking; this can
also be a good excuse to turn up together to share the news. Some
people consider that this is the "wrong way around" but it's still
a sign of respect, and frankly, it's your choice.
* If it isn't possible to ask her father, ask her mother.
Decide when to propose. It's important to get the timing right, and
timing is really only something that you can work out. It's not
possible to say that there are perfect times to propose but it is
important that you propose at a time when you're not rushed and when
you feel calm, sorted, and ready. Once you've planned the proposal
in as much detail as possible, then the time will be right. Some
things to keep in mind though:
* Is there a meaningful day to the both of you? Such as an
anniversary of your relationship or first date, or some other
commemoration?
* Sometimes the time chooses itself by sheer practicality,
especially if the two of you are living in different cities and
come together for a special holiday event and this is your only
chance to ask her.
* Consider the time of year she wants to get married. It's helpful
to ask her or indirectly through her friends or family if there is
a certain season, month, or length of time she wants to be engaged
in order to plan the wedding without feeling overwhelmed or
rushed.
* Proposing on special holidays or birthdays has advantages and
drawbacks. On the one hand, these days can make the occasion more
meaningful, especially if family is gathered around or it's a time
of great joy. On the other hand, you will always share your
proposal date with the holiday date; if you want to celebrate your
engagement date, this can make it feel less impersonal for some,
while for others, it's a great way to remember!
Decide where you will propose. The place and atmosphere of the
proposal will be remembered forever and the most important thing to
remember is that _you_ are the principal creator of the atmosphere!
Naturally, you can propose absolutely anywhere but it helps to
choose a place that will be meaningful for both of you and where you
can feel comfortable, calm, and natural.
* Where are her favorite places? Does the love the beach, sunsets,
tall buildings, bridges, cityscapes, nature, etc.? Or perhaps
she'd appreciate a private screening in the local cinema?
* What is practical? The harder you try to create a special
occasion, the more things can go wrong. Sometimes it's just easier
to focus on what you know will work and will be appreciated by
both of you.
* Consider romantic places such as the beach, a botanical garden, a
famous restaurant with an amazing view, a covered bridge, a
picnic, etc.
* Consider the things the two of you love doing together. Perhaps
this can serve as a source of inspiration, such as proposing when
you're out camping, fishing, sailing, hiking, cycling, attending a
sports event, traveling somewhere, etc.
* Make reservations if you need to. If you're proposing somewhere
like a restaurant where you need to be able to get the best table,
etc., be sure to reserve it well in advance.
Decide how you will propose. Once you've decided the when and the
where, the intimate details of the how need consideration.
Naturally, there is the ring to produce but what other elements do
you want to add into the mix to make this an especially memorable
and romantic occasion for her? Bear in mind that the manner in
which you propose will be retold by her many times over, so make
sure it's good! There are many possibilities and it's entirely up
to you what you do but for some inspiration, here are some
suggestions:
Try the traditional pose. Bend down on one knee, take her hand in
yours and ask her to marry you. The beauty of this gesture is that
it's universally recognized thanks to the movies, and it can be
performed anywhere. Just note that if there are other people around,
they'll be eavesdropping (kindly!), so expect their interest and
support.
Think about things that might accompany the occasion, such as a
quartet playing a tune or a serenade, or a tiny fireworks display,
etc. These sorts of extras are not necessary and they will bloat the
budget unless you've got willing friends to help out, but if it's
your kind of thing, they can add to the atmosphere.
Hide the ring. This is another popular method for proposing that
requires her to find the ring, and then you do the proposing. Places
to hide a ring include inside flowers, chocolates, or a special
gift. be sure to ask her to open the gift at the time, or you might
be waiting ages! And take great care not to hide it somewhere that
she can accidentally swallow it; that'll put a big dent in the
occasion.
Be creative. If you're not so traditional or you're not that keen to
say the proposal yourself, there can be a number of other ideas for
proposing that involve some more planning but can be really
entertaining as well as confirming for her that you're the kooky guy
she wants to spend the rest of her life with. You could prepare her
very own word puzzle or crossword in which the final answer spells
"Will you marry me?". Or you could have a plane write the question
across the sky as the two of you are walking along. Perhaps use
publicity, such as taking out an advertisement in the paper that you
know she'll read, or getting her favorite radio DJ to announce the
proposal, or place a big banner with the question on it over a
bridge she drives under every day.
Look for a ring. Ask her mom or best friend what her ring size is.
If you don't know, get a temporary ring, and then get another after
you propose; for many women, choosing their own ring is the
preferred option.
* Read How to choose an engagement ring for more information.
Or just where whatever's practical! Be dressed in your best
according to the occasion and choice of place. Dress well to be sure
that you're as handsome and attractive as can be. This is a very
special occasion and it deserves to be "picture perfect". She'll
appreciate the effort you've gone to.
* Naturally, this only applies where you're planning to propose
somewhere elegant and you have time to change beforehand. If
you're proposing on the beach, during a hike, skiing, or as you're
skydiving, use your common sense about what to wear!
Practice. If you're going to propose, it pays to practice. Practice
asking, and practice explaining the reasons as to why you love her
so much that you want to spend the rest of your life with her. This
will help you avoid being tongue-tied when the important moment
comes up.
* Keep the proposal simple, to the point, and from the heart. For
example: "Melody, I love you more than words can ever express.
You're the most thoughtful, generous, kind, and beautiful woman
I've ever had the fortune to know and I'd be honored to have the
chance to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?"
Seal it with a kiss! After double-checking everything, go forth and
propose. There is no time like the present to move on with your
carefully thought through plan. Bring her along to "the place" and
start unfolding your plans. Be sure that you don't give things away
by touching the ring in your pocket constantly, or saying daft
things. Some things to bear in mind post-proposal:
* There may be tears, screaming, or shock. Don't be phased, these
are fairly standard reactions, even if she has every clue of what
you're about to do. It's not real to her until it's done!
* If she says yes, end the proposal with a kiss or a hug.
* If she says no, react with understanding and don't be petulant.
She may need time to think and a memory of your sour face and
grumpy attitude will leave a bad impression in her mind. Be a
gentleman.
!! Video !!
!! Tips !!
* "Down on one knee" originally started as pose for gentlemen to
show their ultimate respect for their bride to be, which is rather
sweet! *Talk to her about it. If you really think that you can be
together for the next 50 years, you can talk about things like
marriage. Make sure that she wants to marry you.
* Originality is awesome, but don't go overboard.
* Don't worry if she says "No" or "I'll have to think about it" -
this is a big step.
* If possible, set up a video camera or ask someone to take
pictures. These will be great to show to family members and
friends.
* If you are really clueless, ask her best friend(s) or mother.
* Have her pick out 3-5 rings that she would really like as an
engagement ring. Every jewelry store said this was a good idea
because even if she likes every aspect of the ring, she may still
not care for how it is put together.
* Ask the restaurant if it can arrange a champagne toast to bring
out after you've proposed.
* Evenings are a very romantic time for proposals but they're not
essential, and for many people, a daytime proposal in a beautiful
setting is just as romantic.
!! Warnings !!
* Avoid diverting her by going on about not being the marriageable
type, or having to run off soon. This is both cruel and
unnecessary and could land you in hot water when she ends up
feeling frustrated and irritated with your non-commitment or busy
person lines. Anything that puts a dampener on the evening first
will be hard to turn around. And even if she guesses what you're
about to do, the suspense is still killing her and it won't be
real until you've actually proposed. Think "fairy tale"!
* Calm your nerves; it's hardly romantic if you end up spluttering
or vomiting out of fear.
* Act normal in the lead-up to proposing to her. When you're out
shopping for a ring, or organizing the proposal place, just tell
her you're busy at work or with your mates, rather than making up
convoluted stories.
* Avoid saying corny lines or defeatist comments such as "I know
this is what you've wanted all along, so now you're getting me for
life".
* Try to avoid the cliches such as over dinner, via a jumbtron or
hiding the ring in food and really tune into the places she loves.
* If you're nervous hire a proposal planner to coordinate and
execute your details the day of so you aren't worried about them
and/or act out of character. This is the root for most proposal
day arguments.
!! Things You'll Need !!
* Suitable location
* A ring
* Any other props such as roses, chocolates, jewelery, etc.
* A camera or video camera to capture the moment
!! Related WikiHows !!
* How to Propose
* How to Know Whether You're Really Compatible
* How to Get a Man to Marry You
* How to Be a Great Husband
* How to Design Your Own Engagement Ring
* How to Hiring a Proposal Planner
!! Article Tools !!
* Read on wikiHow
*
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