There is no single factor that we can consider as the pool from which
low self confidence comes from. In fact, it is the accumulation of
mishaps and lacks in the past that we are failing to unearth and give
due remedy. It is the outcome of our failure to recognize who we truly
are and what are the hampers to our own growth.
Low self confidence is obviously delimiting. It would send us stomping
on our endowed capacities and instead, take our failures as early
defeats. It would confine is in our comfort zone where everything is
safe from potential humiliation and further mistakes. The comfort
zones will then make us believe that we must not go out from its four
corners because out there, disappointments and losses await.
But even when we tell ourselves how harsh and messed up things may
get, we must still not surrender to the inner critic that thrives
inside us. We must at all rate, defeat it and show off ourselves to
the world.
Low self confidence develops during our childhood. Unfortunately, many
of us have parents, teachers, friends and enemies who are keener to
our deficiencies than with our talents. They would tell us of our
mistakes and kill our inner drives. These may not actually be said
direct on our face but their actions and sneers are enough to convince
us that we are losers.
Perhaps you live under cold critical eyes that know nothing of
imperfection. Or maybe you are the underling of a brother who achieves
in school, thus the intense focus on him and frequent disregard for
you. Probably people do things for you when they feel like you cant do
things on your own.
These are subtle triggering instances that would all contribute to
your eventual loss of self confidence.
Because of such poor models and lack of attention given on you, you
would soon find that you are really incapable of doing things when in
fact you have gifts beyond your own reckoning.
Your belief on their beliefs would then send you blaming yourselves
for all your failures. And at times, you would even convince yourself
that you are also responsible for the failures of those people you
have close contact with.
As a child, sweeping statements will be a commonplace for you. You
will convince yourself of how stupid you are even without the
reinforcement that comes from the warped people surrounding you.
And as the process goes on, you would learn to ignore the blind
negative accusations that other people throw at you. And to add up
more miseries on your already-piled up problems, you would learn to
accept that there is nothing more to life but defeats and failures.
You faith in yourself by now is much too weakened. Therefor, you would
not try to resolve your conflict on sense of self and would not dare
plan how to get around this self-tormenting course of life. Solutions
and helpful people would come to you though. However, your reactions
would either be to push them away or totally disregard them.
Continue at this phase and you would soon discover that salvation from
low self confidence is presenting itself to you but you are all too
muddled in your own world that it would be way to impossible to cure
the problem. Unless, a life changing miracle would cross your way.
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