Be more confident: How to Be Wise

How to Be Wise

Wisdom is not book learning, not instantly
obtainable, and not something you're gifted with
at birth. Indeed, wisdom defies exact definition
for to define it too tightly would be to curtail
the breadth of its potential for self-growth.
Wisdom comes with time, experience, and the
willingness to maintain an open-mind about the
world and all its people. While wisdom
accumulates over the years, it requires constant
filtering to remove the prejudices and bias that
also accumulate, as well as constant reflection
and a willingness to challenge one's own beliefs
and values on occasion.

The essence of wisdom tends to be lauded in all cultures, and is often
viewed as a state that leaves you calm, able to think through things
before acting upon them, and not be someone who is easily caught up by
the myriad fads and crazes pulsing through society at any time. Wisdom
includes an ability to stand back and take in the bigger picture while
still admiring the details that make things function well. With time,
a wise person grows deeper in knowledge but does not abuse that
knowledge by shutting out others or claiming to be the sole repository
of ideas and answers; instead, a wise person willingly shares what
they have learned and enables the growth of others willing to listen.

Confucius once said that "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First,
by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is
easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." These ideas
are explored throughout the article, which is a starter guide for the
person keen to focus a little more on the gaining of wisdom.

!! Steps !!

_ Know yourself. While time-consuming and
sometimes challenging, it is still easier to learn about everything
and everyone else in the world than about yourself. The hardest
journey is often the one that requires looking inside yourself
honestly to work out what drives you and what beliefs, opinions [1],
and biases you hold within. Unless you're willing to know yourself
well and learn to love both the strengths and weaknesses within you,
it is difficult to be wise. If you don't know yourself, you're more
likely to succumb to covering up weaknesses [2] and overplaying
strengths instead of practicing self-acceptance and being honest.
Knowing yourself provides the space in which you can err, grow, and
forgive yourself [3] as you journey through life.

* Be careful of the term "self-improvement [4]". While this term
means well, it presumes we're all a mess at the core and need
sorting. Even if that is true, it does not help you any to be
vulnerable to the advice drawn from another person's journey and
to try and replace your experiences with theirs. By all means
learn from the experiences of others who have made journeys of
self-discovery but don't make the mistake of believing that their
journey is the right one for you or that you can simply replace
your experiences with theirs. You must do the hard work alone.

* Be wary of any self-improvement advice that claims to have
"secrets". The only "secret" to self-improvement is that it
requires hard work and constancy. Beyond that, you can fiddle at
the edges (attested to remarkably by the massive success of the
self-help industry) but you cannot change the reality of having to
do the work of personal introspection and reflection [5] on the
world yourself.

Realize that you know nothing. The wisest of
people have long been those who realize they
actually know very little – often in spite of
decades of learning and reflecting. The more
you think about people, things, and events, the
more it becomes clear that there is always more
to know and that what you do know is but a
pinhead amid all knowledge. Acceptance of the
limitations of your own knowledge is a key to
wisdom.

* One of the key barriers to wisdom is over-reliance on or
expectation of "expertise [6]". We live in a world sold on the
importance of expertise as a panacea for everything, including our
own effort of thinking. Granted, many (certifiable) experts are
clever and they do know a lot about their specialty. But to equate
expertise with wisdom is to conflate the meanings of each term –
expertise refers to someone's high level of knowledge in a
distinct field, whereas wisdom refers to the broader concept of
being able to see the bigger picture of life, to have considered
responsiveness to all the things life throws at us, to live calmly
[7] reassured of life's purpose, and to never assume that there is
necessarily an answer but still to be comfortable living with that
reality.

* Mary Jaksch advises that now and then we need to adopt "beginner's
mind".[1] [8] This is the mind of a person starting afresh, being
challenged anew by doing something that you've never done before.
This brings excitement into your life as well as having the
potential to unnerve you because you're not an "expert" at it. In
addition, she advocates "don't know" mind, a martial arts [9]
mindset that reflects the wisdom of the warrior. Rather than
prejudging situations by what you do know, keep your mind open and
tell yourself that "I don't know" and allow yourself to learn.
When you cease to have a fixed idea of people, things, and
situations surrounding you, you grow in wisdom because you soak up
changes, new ideas, and don't set any person above or beneath you.

Be more confident

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Monday 31 January 2011

How to Be Wise

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