How to Trust Your Boyfriend

How to Trust Your Boyfriend

Do you love him? Do you trust him? Trust is a key element in having
a strong and lasting relationship with your boyfriend. Without trust,
your relationship will slowly fall apart, as Frank Crane once made
clear when he said that while _"you may be deceived if you trust too
much, [...] you will live in torment if you do not trust enough."_

How do you regain trust that has slipped away because of little things
that niggle you or cause you to feel he isn't as responsive or
attentive as perhaps he ought to be? In this article, you'll have the
chance to explore the ways in which you can learn to trust you
boyfriend and move into another stage of your relationship.

!! Steps !!

Acknowledge why you don't trust your boyfriend. There can be a
number of reasons, from not hearing from him, lack of contact, or
something someone else said. Your own instinct tends to add its
overlay of worry too, adding up things that may or may not be
important. Some of the reasons why your trust may be tested include:

* You have been privy to a recent revelation about him that casts
suspicions on his trustworthiness

* You have had an argument with him and it not only left you feeling
sour but left many questions unanswered

* You feel that he has betrayed your trust in him by something that
he has done, said, or openly acknowledged to you

* You feel that he is slipping away - there are less calls, he's not
coming around to see you much, or he seems to be seeing other
people without asking you along too

* You have some other reason for not trusting him.

Take it slowly and calm yourself down. Paranoia over the fact that
you don't trust him will can cause you to deepen your mistrust
rather than to want to seek some valid answers. Whatever has
happened to set off your suspicions, it's more than likely that you
don't have the full story or perhaps you're not even seeing all the
relevant events properly. Before you discard all trust, it is
important to do some thinking, questioning, and following up, to get
the story straight. Focus on what is at stake and the importance of
the relationship, no matter how hard it may seem and no matter how
tempting it is to prefer assuming a negative viewpoint of him.

Think about your past relationships. Have they ended in heartbreak,
mistrust, and anger? If so, you may be primed to be suspicious about
a subsequent boyfriend's motives. Having someone betray your trust
hurts, and can carry on into your next relationship. If this is the
case, talk to your boyfriend about your past relationship (or
relationships) and tell him what happened and why it hurt you. Not
only will doing this increase your trust in him, he will be able to
understand what lies behind your paranoia. Depending on the type of
guy he is, he may even be able to help you work through the
challenge.

* If you're stuck in an emotional situation where you don't feel
that you're able to move past the hurt, this can be a good time to
speak with a therapist or counselor in order to mend the wounds of
any past relationship that might have caused you to feel paranoid
or anxious about current relationships.

Talk to him about why you don't trust him. Use tact, but be honest
with him. Guys prefer blatant honesty to constantly avoiding,
embellishing, or twisting the subject. If you talk to him about it,
not only will it make you feel better, but his trust in you will be
likely t increase because he'll feel that, even though you don't
trust him, you had to courage to come out and talk to him about it
anyway. Whatever his response, your courage in speaking so clearly
makes you a very good and honest person.

Go the extra mile to increase his trust in you. Be honest, caring,
understanding, and trustworthy yourself, before asking someone to do
the same. Don't gossip about him and don't be condescending or
negative about him to other people; it will get back to him and will
only make things harder for you to fix. Open up a little more
yourself; this is especially important if you've been keeping your
concerns and most intimate self from him.

* Keep the line of communication open, and let him know what is
going on in your life. You don't have to tell him about every time
that you stub your toe, or what you ate for breakfast yesterday,
but do tell him things. Tell him funny (or sad) stories about your
past and encourage him to do the same.

Just because he looks doesn't mean he wanders Learn to let little
things go. This step is one that is easily overlooked but is vital.
Remember that there may be genuine, non-harmful, and even
laugh-worthy reasons for why things have happened that caused you to
mistrust him. What is important to a guy may not be what is important
to a girl, and he may simply have thought nothing of it, while you're
busy blowing it all out of proportion. A simple request to explain
the situation will suffice in that case. Forgetfulness is a big one
with many guys. It's unintentional but it can be infuriating. For
example, maybe he just forgot to tell you that he was going out with
his friends the same night you wanted to borrow his car. Maybe you
didn't tell him, so there was no reason for him to even get that
there was an issue; even if you did tell him, maybe it was when he
was focused on doing something and he just didn't hear you properly.
Whatever the reason, find it out from him before assuming it from
within. You'll know whether or not the answers you're given ring true
and you can work from there. If they do ring true, let go, let go,
let go! Give him the benefit of the doubt and don't assume that he is
cheating on you or even not telling you things.

* Remember that your boyfriend is only human, and _will_ forget
things without meaning to. If it was important, remind him gently
instead of cussing him out. If it wasn't important, let it go and
remember that the little thing fall-outs that go un-blamed can
prevent the enormous fight that would have resulted otherwise.

Hold yourself to the same standard before unleashing your anger.
Have you always remembered absolutely everything? Do you always
listen with absolute clarity? Do you like it when someone suggests
that you're not to be trusted? It is important to be compassionate
in a relationship and that includes placing yourself into the
situation he's in before you approach it. At all times, remain calm
and level-headed; shouting and berating any person does nothing to
change the situation and can simply deepen the problems.

Take the time to create a firm and lasting bond with your boyfriend.
Go on fun and romantic dates with each other, engage in activities
outside of the bedroom, and don't be serious all of the time.
Happier relationships are ones in which there is a lot of room to
move, a lot of laughter, and a great deal of trust. In fact, the
more trust, often the tighter the bond you'll create. The less
trust, the more likely your relationship will end up laden with
suspicion and dysfunctional behaviors. Embrace your inner (and more
trusting) child, recognize the little, sweet things in life, and
help your boyfriend to do the same:

* Go to the park and have him push you on the swings.

* Have a pillow or tickle fight.

* Go to a restaurant and share a plate or a drink with each other.

* Visit a zoo and have fun looking at all the animals.

* Tease him, ever so gently, and let him tease you back. Couples
that can handle teasing one another in a fun, kind way, tend to be
couples that can handle each other's criticism and enjoy each
other's love.

Learn the art of small talk. Sometimes telling each other "I love
you, I love you, I love you, coochy coo" becomes a little too
demanding and one-way. And too many deep and meaningfuls can make
each of you resent hanging around each other for fear of when the
"next big crisis" is about to crop up. Brighten up your time
together by indulging in small talk as a way of filling in the
moments where you're just spending time together in each other's
company, without expecting anything of one another.

Last but not least, realize what you gain by loving in trust. While
trust does expose us to the potential of another person's betrayal,
the opposite is worse – to never trust a person and to never learn
what it feels like to have that trust reciprocated and blossom would
be unthinkable. Acknowledge that trust encompasses fear of being
hurt and yet understand that not being trustful will end up harming
your happiness, rather than guarding it. And trust can protect your
health; research has shown that people with greater trust are
healthier and more humorous![1] [1] Realize that trust doesn't only
let go of the other person, it also lets go of you, opening yourself
to the possibilities that this time, you have connected with someone
who will reciprocate the trust you've placed in him.

And if you're still unconvinced, keep in mind these lovely words from
Dick Sutphen:
"Love me without fear,
Trust me without questioning,
Need me without demanding,
Want me without restrictions,
Accept me without change,
Desire me without inhibitions,
For a love so free...
Will never fly away."

!! Video !!

!! Tips !!

* Try to be understanding and accepting when the little things come
up. Your boyfriend will notice and appreciate the special
relationship that the two of your share all the more for it.

!! Warnings !!

* Be aware of what your boyfriend is doing and don't be completely
blind to his fall-outs. In other words, be trusting but not naive.
Trust is a two-way reality. Give of it but don't allow it to be
abused. If he is behaving suspiciously and strangely, talk to your
girlfriends, or someone you know you can trust about your
concerns. Having a sounding board of someone else can help you to
work through the concerns realistically.

* If he really is cheating on you, find someone who is more
deserving of your trust. If you feel like this happening again and
again to you, revise the type of boyfriend you keep falling for.

!! Related WikiHows !!

* How to Show Your Boyfriend You Care

* How to Show Your Love to Your Boyfriend

* How to Build Trust in a Relationship

* How to Regain Trust in Someone

* How to Trust a Boyfriend Who Is Unfaithful

!! Sources And Citations !!

!! Article Tools !!

* Read on wikiHow

*

Links:
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[1] http://bemoreconfident.info/#_note-0